The World is Yours

MUSIC

HIP HOP REVIEWS

15-02-2025 01:41 GMT

Music by indie artist, Coolidge on Apple Music | Spotify

Coolidge

"Mill"
Hip Hop




My baby’s baby walked in the room late last night while I was doing my sexercise.

Wait wait wait, hold on. Let’s start again, that’s too strong. I know you weren’t expecting that… Let’s start over.

The title of this article is “The World is Yours”. If you are not familiar with the SRL Writers Room, that’s how we do things around here. There are two titles – one inside the page and one outside the page above the address bar. Sometimes they are both the same and other times they are different. If you don’t understand why, you will soon, hopefully.

Okay, let's start now.

When I walked into the office this morning there was total silence. I paused to look around and everyone immediately looked away and pretended they were working hard or looking for something. Some even started whistling for no reason and cleaning things that didn't look like they ever needed to be cleaned. As I walked along I heard whispers and some chuckles but thought nothing of it. It got even quieter. I put my head down and started to walk faster, wondering if they knew. I bumped into someone, or should I say something - well two actually, it was a pair. It was my boss, I bumped into her chest. Yes, she’s huge, with breasts so big they annoy me sometimes. She said to me furiously as she walked away: “hey, look where you’re going Mr. Bruce Willis. I thought to myself “Bruce Willis?”

As I continued to walk I heard someone in the distance say “hey look, it’s Bruce Bruce” and then they had a good laugh together. I stopped at my secretary’s desk to pick up letters and, with a big grin on her face she said: “Hey Donald”, and winked twice as she handed me my letters. I gasped deeply inside as I thought to myself: “they know”. I put my head down in shame, rushed into my office and closed all the blinds. I haven’t come out since.

It’s me “The Ideas Guy”, by the way. If you haven’t read my article “How to Turn Water to Wine” on SRL News, you’d better head over there after this, it’s going viral. [Here’s a link]

I know you’re wondering what all that name calling when I got into the office was about, so I’ll explain. Don’t worry, we’ll get down to the music review shortly. And I promise you, you’re gonna LOVE it.

Okay, so let me explain.

My baby’s baby walked in the room late last night while I was doing my sexercise. I was so furious because my cheeks were totally exposed and it wasn’t the good side. Apparently she had run out of milk and needed a refill. She stormed out madder than me, crying, yelling “mummy, you said I couldn’t do that anymore, why is HE doing it?”

I was so embarrassed because I’m lactose intolerant so I never do that, I don’t know what came over me. Later that night, I got up to have a little weewee but I couldn’t find a towel so I grabbed whatever I could find lying around, wrapped it around my waist and dashed to the bathroom. Just as I was about to start going, I heard loud footsteps coming down the hallway. Who could that be? Everyone was asleep. I tried to stop going but I had already started. I panicked as the footsteps drew closer and closer, louder and louder. I squeezed my bladder harder in a bid to finish quicker but it just kept coming. I looked backwards over my shoulder repeatedly as the footsteps drew closer, utterly terrified. Eventually it was too late. There was a huge thump and the door swung open. It was HER. And she was FURIOUS. I had finished so I quickly looked down to tuck my little buddy away. He's not little, that's just what I call him. I suddenly noticed that the pink warm fuzzy item of clothing I had picked up and tied around my waist wasn’t one of my girlfriend’s sweaters or lady things – it was her daughter’s favourite Donald Duck sweater. I knew I was in trouble. She charged at me waving her Barbie in the air like a crazy person that had just escaped from the asylum. I didn’t know what to make of it. She looked so scary and angry. I was still very tipsy so I panicked. I screamed like a little girl and covered my face with both palms in a defensive position. She stopped suddenly. Then she did the fiercest, most sinister and malicious thing anyone could ever do in that situation – she reached for her sweater... and then... she zipped it up really hard - all the way to the top. And then skipped away like a sissy with a bag of dicks. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrghhhhh” I yelled out in agony as I looked down, terrified. My little buddy was hanging out helplessly, choking. It burned! So I screamed out “Aaaaaarrrrghhhh, it burns! It burns!”

My girlfriend woke up, the nanny came running. All the neighbours woke up and were banging on the door. Within minutes more than ten people had poured in as I lay on the bathroom floor helplessly, wearing nothing but a toddler’s really tiny Donald Duck sweater around my waste, with my little buddy hanging out for everyone to see as I struggled to cover it – the neighbours, the ambulance crew, two firemen for some reason, a police man, the guy at the concierge, the elevator operator, my girlfriend, and the nanny. We soon discovered that what we feared wasn’t actually the case. Yes, she had zipped the sweater all the way up to the top, but contrary to her evil intentions (which was what I had been reacting to), she had only managed to catch a few of hairs in the zipper, not my buddy - I was looking at it upside down. I had been so scared that I panicked and assumed the worst, and even felt the pain as if the worst had already happened. I felt so silly. Everyone laughed at me as the room emptied, shaking their heads as they left. My girlfriend thought it was so funny, and apparently she has told everybody. To cut a long story short, that was what led to the nicknames earlier on when I walked into the office. "Bruised Willis" (in reference to the actor Bruce Willis), "Bruce Bruised" (in reference to the comedian Bruce Bruce), Willie Wanker(in reference to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, insinuating that I might have been "spanking my monkey" when the incident occured), and Donald (because I was wearing a toddler’s Donald Duck sweater). I’m sure there are more coming so I’m bracing myself.

Phew! The whole thing has been weighing on me heavy all morning, I really needed to tell somebody. I’m so glad I did. Thanks for listening, I feel so much better now. Okay let’s get down to the music review that you and I both are here for. You’re gonna love this one I promise.

Drevo Coolidge, an up-and-coming independent hip-hop artist who needs no introduction, released his latest track, “Mill,” on February 14, 2025. Following in the footsteps of most of his previous releases, the track offers an exciting burst of energy that is guaranteed to hit the sweet spot of hip hop fans looking for something true and real. Boasting an exhilarating blend of groovy beats, empowered lyrics, and a sense of unrelenting drive, it has the potential to captivate listeners from all walks of life in ways only a few of the very best hip hop artists can. From the very first notes, it’s clear that "Mill" is all about pushing boundaries, making moves, and embracing the pursuit of wealth and success. The song's beat is vibrant, steady, and relentlessly catchy. It strikes that perfect balance between high-energy exhilaration and a smooth, rhythmic groove that hooks you immediately. But it’s not just about the beat; the musical composition also features a subtle yet commanding piano, which injects the track with a sophisticated flair. The piano doesn’t overwhelm the sound but rather complements the dynamic production, giving the song a nuanced layer that balances out the upbeat tempo. It feels innovative yet ever so familiar. Lyrically, “Mill” is a song for dreamers and hustlers alike. Coolidge is clearly no stranger to the grind, and his words echo the spirit of ambition that drives not just hip-hop artists, but anyone with their eyes on the prize.

Well what are you waiting for? Hit the play button already and share this with everyone you love.

Have an amazing day, and remember to always remember that the world is yours, and everything inside it.

Now go on out there and be somebody.



Explicit.

... for anyone who has never owned a CD player

MUSIC

HIP HOP REVIEWS

18-04-2023 13:13 GMT

Music by indie artist, Yung Rackz on Apple Music | Spotify

Yung Rackz

"Back In The Day"
Hip Hop




If you haven’t been here before; welcome to one of the dirtiest places on the internet right now after Porn Hub, MTV and literally any hip hop music website. But no, there is no ass eating, or calling b*tches hoes, or thong wearing, or unscrupulous flinging of dry faecal matter in the air (oops!! I mean twerking). It’s tastefully dirty, almost even classy. Kind of like Madonna, or Marilyn Monroe - but definitely not like Kim Kardashian at all, or Cardi B - yuk, yuk, yuk. 

To cut a long story short, this isn’t your regular music review website and if you're sensitive your feelings will get really hurt really fast. If you’ve never been here before you should probably leave right now, but that’s entirely up to you. Actually I think you can just head over here and read my previous article which was titled Jesus, P*ssy and Dollars and then decide if you would like to stay or not. Even my closest colleagues are still campaigning to have me removed from the SRL writers room for it. 

Okay I see you've decided to stay - ballsy, but cool. Let's do this! 

On Monday I had the weirdest, most uncomfortable meeting I’ve ever had in my life. I don’t embarrass easily but this was super awkward. I’m hoping the people involved read this so they can get a good understanding about what actually happened because no one addressed the elephant in the room even though we all couldn't stop looking at it throughout. 

Here’s what had happened. My boss has got this really annoying toddler. She strolls around in her Ferrari baby walker thingy demanding juice and barging in unexpectedly when I’m playing "Call Of Booty (wink, wink)"  with her mommy in the night (and in the mornings too sometimes). Wait, did I also tell you my girlfriend is my  boss? Yep, it’s pretty awesome. You should try it. In fact, I just got a pay rise. Anyway, the little twat has done a lot of crazy stuff in the past but nothing tops what happened on Monday morning while I was making brownies (💩). She badged into the toilet like the police telling me she had run out of juice or she needed a nappy change or something. I was so pissed off on my way out to work I locked the wheels of her stroller, knocked over her stupid Sippy cup and took her last diaper. The look on her face when I took the diaper was priceless. She immediately knew - she was totally screwed. I forgot I had it in my pocket and I took it to work. I arrived at the office in a haste and while reaching for my USB key I found it and just tossed it on the table with some other stuff that was in my pocket, thinking nothing of it. Shortly after, there was a knock on the door. It was time for my 9 o’clock meeting with some big shot editors who apparently came to discuss ways in which I could make my writing more family-friendly and less, well, less “offensive to so many people”, as they put it. I had told them to come in and sit down before noticing that there was a pink diaper with Barbie pictures all over it right on my desk beside my cup of morning whisky (oops!! I mean coffee), and there was a 12 pack of ribbed condoms right on top of it – it was in my pocket too when I reached for my USB key thingy. What can I say? I like to be prepared. 

My first thought was to immediately grab them both and toss them in a draw or under the table before starting the meeting but I did the wrong thing and hesitated to think a little bit first. And in that moment all our eyes met and we could all tell we were all wondering why the f* there was a f*cking diaper on the table with condoms, and a vibrating cock ring, and plenty lube. Oh wait, didn’t I mention those other items before? My bad. Yep, like I said before, I like to be prepared – don’t judge me, I bet you’ve got weird stuff in your pocket right now too. To cut a long story short we ended up doing the whole meeting without mentioning anything about the items on the table. They had a look on their faces like they could have really used an explanation by the end of the meeting but I didn’t know what to say so I said absolutely nothing. To be honest I really didn’t GAF but I felt like they really did so I wanted to help, I just couldn’t. When I was a newbie at SRL, eager to impress everyone, I probably would have come up with something clever or even witty to say, and it would have been amazing. But not nowadays, now that I’ve discovered it’s damn near impossible to impress anyone in the world. In fact I suspect it’s absolutely impossible. You try, and let me know how it goes. You’ll see. Do something really amazing and see how many dead faces you’re met with – everyone looks like Dua Lipa now. By the time people are nine years old nowadays they’ve seen the whole world, future technologies up to 50 years in advance, all history; they know everything about space, where to find Jesus, the best way not to get there, 50 ways to get away with sinning, how to never do homework, what your penis or vagina looks like, what it will look like 50 years from now, how to get rid of it if you don't want it, everything about sagging breasts, how to milk a cow without getting twice more aroused than you would normally get while squeezing breasts (since there are 4, not just 2), how to reach the sun without getting sunburn (by going at night obviously), how to make money without doing anything, how to get higher than you've ever been your entire life, how to drink without driving (Uber obviously), how to eat p*ssy till you burp… the list goes on. So forget about it, that’s what I’ve done and it’s working pretty well for me. My philosophy now is “if you think I’m sh*t, that’s your business – I’ll make my best poopoo every time and serve it to you with a smile”. I’m starting to suspect the only way left to impress anyone now is to literally blow yourself up live on TikTok while everyone is dancing. Surely that should get a few reactions – but no facial expressions, reverence or respect; just maybe a few mutual nods with pressed lips. I felt like I should tell you that so you know I didn’t even try while being so amazing throughout the course of this article. I can tell you’re loving it, and it gets better. 

When SRL approached me and offered me this awesome job my first reaction was: “You want ME to work for YOU? Do you really know what you’re asking? Or is this just another one of those scenarios where at the end of it all I tell myself God must be playing a trick on me again?”

I mean SRL is a pretty huge deal but I’m me, I’m not one of those guys who just wakes up early in the morning and turns up to work EVERY SINGLE DAY like I’ve got nothing else to do. To be honest with you I don’t even know why I came in today. I was f*cking, and then I decided to take a walk and have a cigarette, and then one thing led to another and I’m here now. So I thought, “what the heck, they’ve been asking me to review a song from this big ass pile of CDs and tapes, why not!”. So here it goes… 

And by the way, this is not gonna be one of those music reviews where I tell you how amazing the song is, give you all the producer and songwriter credits, tell you all the chords that were played and analyse every single one of them; and then you hit play and you f* off – I’m not a prostitute m-kay? We’re gonna discuss it, have a conversation, have a few laughs here and there, and then see where it goes from there. There isn’t gonna be any “wham bam thank you mam” sort of scenario here like all those other desperate music blogs that beg you to listen and share and then ask you to buy them a cup of coffee after. When you’re f*cking with me, you’re f*cking with the best! (“Scarface voice”) M-kay? This is more than just another music review. In fact if you make it to the end of this article I bet you your life would have changed. And then, you’ll hit the play button, and be totally blown away by the amazing record we’re about to talk about. 

I feel like I’ve given away too much already. I’ve already told you it’s amazing so many times. So now, I’m going to try to make you forget, so that it’s a mindboggling surprise when you hit the play button – like when you’re on a date with someone spectacular, and after nearly an hour of the best soul gazing, drinking, mind fucking and mental undressing you’ve ever done – you realize she was planning to come home with you THE ENTIRE TIME, AND she wasn’t even wearing any underwear...

So let’s get to forgetting now, shall we? Forgetting is a really important part of life. You'll practice it today, right here right now. Once you've learned the art of forgetting, you'll be really awesome and be able to forget anything or anyone unpleasant and focus and be your best self every single time, kind of like me but not as awesome - this here takes practise and persistence, m-kay? Baby steps..  

Have you ever looked at the McDonald’s sign upside down and wondered how no one else ever discovered it was just a pair of really perfect boobies upside down?

I know right? I guess now you know why you can’t say no every time you see the sign – regardless of whether you’re on a diet, it’s lent or even Good Friday, you’ve got high cholesterol, or whatever. You’re not after the Big Mac, you want boobies, upside down, like the ones you see when you're on holiday; everyone does. Okay that one was too easy, let’s go deeper. 

To be honest with you, I haven’t got any deeper – that’s all I’ve got. Honesty is my weakness, and it gets me every time. People say silly stuff like “just be yourself” and “we’re not here to judge anybody”, and my favourite, “the truth will set you free”, but nobody is ever impressed when I tell them how I really feel. In fact, remember what I told you I was doing before I decided to come to work? Of course you don't. See? you're already forgetting stuff, it's working – I said I was f*cking. But didn’t you even bother to ask yourself why anyone in their right mind would suddenly dismount, put their clothes back on and bow out  gracefully to take a walk? Absolutely insane wouldn’t you say? Well, let me explain.

A couple of days ago, me and my girlfriend went a little too far in a role playing scenario and had a little accident. To cut a long story short, she ended up in the emergency room and is kind of sort of partially sighted, but the doctor said it should clear up in a few days. He advised that we should try to keep our hands off each other for a while to avoid any complications but we couldn’t – she’s so amazing, and I’m sure I’m irresistible too. We were role playing again this morning. She was Mary Magdalene, and I was Jesus – trying to rid her of her seven notorious demons by severe spanking. It was so amazing. Everything was going smoothly and then she went and called out another man’s name right in the middle of it all. Her exact words were: “deeper, oh god!!!”. I said: “what??!” I was so steamed I didn't even take off the robe and sandals, I just left. People must have thought I was Kanye West when I walked into the office. It was so weird, but whatever. 

I was so steamed before I left her house that I felt like I had to make a statement before leaving. She couldn’t understand what she had done wrong so she followed me to the living room and tried to talk things out. Since she couldn’t see, and since I was overcome with so much anger, I wanted to do something that would really hurt her feelings the way she had hurt mine. So I… I... I kind of sort of, em… 

I "blew my own trumpet" and finished in her fish bowl. Then I sat on the couch and watched the fish eat it. She hadn’t got a clue what was going on but before I got up and slammed the door I heard her say “what’s that smell?”. I’m never calling that b*tch again. What kind of psycho b*tch calls out their boyfriend’s dad’s name in the middle of sex? WTF right?

So how was that? Have you forgotten what I said you were supposed to forget? You have, haven’t you? Damn I’m good!

Okay let’s go.

Now, this is one of those songs that’ll take you by surprise like an apple hitting you on the head under an apple tree on a fine sunny afternoon while you're thinking – you’ll totally not be expecting to hear anything like this but it will power up a light bulb in your head and give you ideas and make you realise what you've been missing.  Nope, you won't hear anything like this in this era of music. This strange era of music when you can have 50 million songs in your pocket and still be totally bored. Can you believe that sh*t? Spotify ruined everything! I keep telling everyone but nobody believes me. And you know how they can fix it? Just put back the f*cking “stop” button already. Certain things are there for a purpose. And just because you can remove them doesn’t mean you should – like: what if Marilyn Monroe had removed her mole? Or, what if Michael Jackson had NOT removed his big ass nose, he-he-he. To be honest, I totally loved that nose, it was perfectly fine – a little oily, but nothing a little cocaine wouldn’t take care of. Oops!! I meant powder. Let’s move on quickly. Where were we? Ah yes, the stop button.

There are certain things in life that make me know when the end of an activity has been reached. Like cumming – it lets me know when I’m done f*cking. And cigarette butts (or, err em, roaches), to let me know when I’m done smoking. And candlestick telephones to let me know when I’m done talking to people who are not there – instead of having them secretly follow me around in my pocket on Twitter and Facebook. And ignition keys so I can tell my car when I’m done driving – push start is cool too but still a little annoying, I want to take the key OUT. And disposable energiser batteries so I can figure out when my girlfriend is never gonna cum, that b*tch! F*ck recharging. I think you get the point anyway, everything needs a stop button or a finish line. So let’s start a petition now to get our musical lives back in order – we need a stop button Spotify! What do we want? Stop button. When do we want it? NOW!

Wait, where were we again?

Ah yes, you totally won’t be expecting to hear this type of song, but when you hit that play button and the sound hits you you’re gonna feel like Michael Jackson right before he grabs his crotch and slaps it really hard – “HEEEEEEE-HEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" 

It’s not a pop song but it’s one of those songs that has something relatable in it for everyone. I had to go way way back in the Skunk Radio Live archives for this one and you’ll thank me for it. If you don’t know already, Yung Rackz is Winston Salem, North Carolina, USA’s next big hip hop star and he’s doing really spectacular things right now in the music industry. I wanted to take you way back in time to the song that put his name on the map – the song that made his career what it is today. 

“Back In The Day” is a hip hop record about trials and tribulations. It's reminiscent of “Juicy” by the late great Notorious B.I.G, but it’s spectacular in its own way. I like to refer to it as a "Juicy" for anyone who has never owned a CD player. It's the second of two songs on the critically acclaimed debut EP “I’m 2 Much” which was originally released back in 2012/13 but later re-released around about 2021. It’s got a very sweet nostalgic vibe and a juicy beat that will carry you away into a world of your own where everything is possible if you just keep on pushing on. It’s motivational, inspirational, lyrically masterful and impactful. To be honest with you I don’t think I’ve heard a hip hop record this good since Guru’s “You Know My Steez”. If you haven’t heard “You Know My Steez” by Guru… Em… I really don’t know what to say to you. In fact I’m tempted to tell you to go away, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and just assume you’ve heard it but you just don’t know the title or who sang it. Listen to it here. It should pop up in a new window so just close it when you’re are done and then scroll down a little bit and hit the play button in the Spotify music player below to listen to this amazing Yung Rackz record I’ve been trying to tell you about. It’s an oldie but a goodie, and if you are a hip hop music fan who knows anything about hip hop then you’ll probably know instantly that it belongs in every single one of your hip hop music playlists on Spotify, Apple Music or whatever music streaming platform you use to destroy the music industry. Oops!! I meant "discover new artists and explore your favourite genres of music". Like I said before, you won’t hear a record like this anywhere else today, so make sure you share it - let’s make it go viral. 

Wait, wait, wait… My girlfriend just texted me and said her fish had twins. WTF! I’ve got to go, this is BS. I know she’s f*cking with me. I knew she could see all this time. She’s just been making me do all her typing and make her breakfast every morning, and do her daughter's maths homework, and wash her dirty underwear by hand. Oops!! I’ve said too much. Hope you enjoy the track, see you tomorrow.

Explicit.

Jesus, p*ssy, and dollars

MUSIC

ELECTRONIC REVIEWS

13-03-2023 20:03 GMT

Music by indie artist, The Watermark High on |

The Watermark High

"Feel The Flow"
Electronic


Slow thy roll.

This album should slow your brain down in all the right places if used correctly. So really Feel it, and LOVE IT.

The SRL writers room has become really competitive over the past few months. Since we are no longer allowed to include our author names or pen names, writers can only stand out by their writing styles and the contexts of their writings. There are three big topics guaranteed to get the most readers online if you are a writer, or even if you make videos, songs, or anything else. This is really serious marketing stuff I’m about to tell you so pay attention and make sure you don’t tell anyone else okay? Three big subject matters that are guaranteed to get anyone’s full attention on any given day or night, no matter the circumstance. In fact if you get up in the middle of any room at any time and just scream out any of these words people will rush over to you immediately and they'll bring their check books (or start shaking their money makers spontaneously, whichever is appropriate for the environment and/or situation). The 3 big words are DOLLARS, JESUS and P*SSY. I don’t know what the right order should be so you can rearrange them yourself and write them down so you never forget okay? 

I’m sure you’re thinking “Well, why didn’t you replace the last word with the broader term SEX. That’s less explicit and should reach more people right?” No. And that’s why you’re not the marketing expert here. I am. 

And again you might be thinking “Well, why didn’t you use the word GOD instead of JESUS, after all he’s the father right? And he is more powerful and more people know him hence he should have a bigger audience right?” Wrong! Again, who's the expert, you or me? I rest my case. 

Lastly, I’m sure you’ll also be thinking to yourself “Okay surely you could have just said MONEY instead of DOLLARS right? That’s a no-brainer”. And once again you’d be absolutely wrong. Everyone loves Dollars, money is a dirty word. 

To stand out in the SRL writers room my subject matter of choice was Jesus. Everyone totally hates me. And not because I’m a goodie-goodie but rather the opposite – I’m not a role model AT ALL, I’m shite! I’m one of those people that’ll tell you odd things you’d never expect to hear coming out of a lady's mouth plainly and directly for the sheer purpose of letting you know you I don't f* around, I don't play games and IDGA-F! (In my Bishop from "Juice" voice, he-he-he). 

I was hanging out with one of my “buddies” watching Netflix the other day (wink, wink, wink) and he casually placed his wallet on the coffee table and proceeded to crack open a can of beer or white wine or whatever we were drinking - I can’t remember, it’s all a blur now. I stopped him immediately and warned him, “Don’t do that" while waving my index finger at him side to side like he was a little kid who was being naughty. He said "What?" And I replied "I'd totally steal your credit card and buy a year’s worth of tampons if you put your wallet on the table and get drunk”. He claimed it was the weirdest thing he had ever heard, but his response was even weirder. He turned his head to the side looking confused like Nicki Minaj, as if he was thinking and said “What?! … tampons??”. I said “Yes, I don’t do crack, what else would I buy? Just don't do it okay?” 

To cut a long story short he’s not my boyfriend and I’m still looking. I totally screwed up the relationship right there and everything had been going really well. But that’s just me. It’s not like I would ever take money out of anyone’s wallet but I hate people doing stupid sh*t around me. Who the f* leaves their wallet on the table in the middle of a drink session? That’s like stopping to moon the cows in the middle of a bull run and wondering what could possibly go wrong. I know, Ouch! Right? Yikes. 

So there you have it: JESUS, P*SSY and MONEY. Let’s put it in that order, it sounds so much cooler. Make sure you use one of those the next time you need to get some attention. 

I know you’re wondering why I just told you that. WTF right? And I’ll tell you why: to get your attention. Du-uh!? I’ve just presented you with 3 of the most powerful words on the internet right now on at least 3 different occasions, I KNOW I’ve got your full attention – damn I’m good. I told you I was a marketing expert didn't I? 

The reason I emphasised the fact that you can't just replace any of those 3 words with related words willy-nilly is that the most important characteristic of a good prayer is that it is specific. Stop asking Jesus to make your whole life better, that's not specific at all. What exactly do you want to change? Not when. Not How. Not why. Just what. Stop asking for more money, or some money, or enough money, or my favourite one to laugh at: to be comfortable - are you asking for a new sofa? No, you want Dollars! So say it! Say exactly how much you want in Dollars because everyone love Dollars. Pick a number, and stick with it. And don't be ashamed to ask Jesus for money, everybody's doing it - everybody needs money, it's not just you. Another key ingredient is that it is short and simple. Don't explain it, nobody cares. What's the most important prayer in the Bible? "Let There Be Light" right? Four words. Think about your prayers and examine them. You've been doing it wrong haven't you? He-he-he. Okay I'll give you one more tip and then that's it. And I'm giving you these tips simply because I've told you I'll be talking about Jesus a lot when I write and for no other reason okay? Don't assume stuff.  Don't invite me to your church or quote Bible passages to me, that'll total f* the little relationship we are cultivating here up. The last tip is: quit asking for sh*t. Demand it like it's your already. Abundance is your divine right, you want everything you want because it's yours already. Jesus didn't say "Dear God, please give us a little bit of light so we can see boobies", or whatever he wanted to see or wanted us all to see at the time, Camel Toes maybe? I honestly don't know, I'm just saying it was short. Wait, pause - did you get that? Camel Toes? Because they used a lot of Camels back then? Click here to get to the roots of that joke if you still don't understand it. It was one of the jokes that really made people start looking up to me here in the writers room instead of looking down at my big firm breastseses every chance they got - and yes, when they're this amazing they deserve double plurals, Kim Kardashian doesn't even have these. I kind of miss those days to be honest... Now where were we? Umn-hmnn, yes; Jesus didn't say, "Dear God, we can't see anything, give us a candle please". Four words and that's all it took. So there you have it. I'm assuming you are writing that down as well right? Be specific, short, and demand it! Now let's move on. 

I’m about to hit you with an album that’ll have you more excited than two gays watching the Super Bowl on Sunday. When I say "hit you with it" I’m not saying it in the Ebonics sense, like I’m about to sell you some really good weed or something. I’m totally about to smack you with it. The album comes in both digital and physical formats so you know it MUST be good. It’s not one of those things you listen to on spotify that gets buried by 50 million songs an hour later never to be seen or heard again, in fact I hate that it’s on Spotify at all. When you hear it, you will hate that too – in fact, let’s start a petition in the comments section. I hate when an album is this good, to be honest. It makes me look bad if I don’t do it justice when I introduce it. You don’t understand. This album is hotter than bad breath, but in a good way. Okay no, scratch that. See? I'm getting it wrong already. Let’s just talk about it first and then we’ll get back to how hot it is later. 

Released on the 10th of March, 2023, just over 3 days ago, “Feel The Flow” is a very short buy highly impactful and masterful EP by critically acclaimed electronic music producer, composer and music educator, The Watermark High, who has also released music under the name Kinoh from time to time in order to explore a different creative direction from what his fans are used to. Whether you are listening to Kinoh or The Watermark High, what you can expect is always the same: that by the end of it you would have had your mind boggled and your socks will be missing. If you like soothing sounds you are in the right place and I’m glad you are here because I love soothing sounds too. I’m so excited you’re here, you’ve got me tingling all over. Let’s hit the play button together and see where it goes. If you feel like we’re having a moment, kiss me. I’ll kiss back I promise. Have you hit the play button? Can you feel that? Nice isn’t it?

For anyone who is already accustomed with the sound of The Watermark High, this is a little different. It’s much more Hip Hop than electronic music but it's still a very healthy mix of the two. Don’t let the first song “Traveller” deceive you into believing you’re in for one of those musical journeys where the mood and tempo is the same all the way though, or else by the time you reach the fourth track you’ll feel like an unsuspecting teenage girl who decided to sit on top of the washing machine to chat while uncle was washing his delicates. You’ll open your eyes really wide suddenly at the climax (wider than Nicki Minaj when she looks like she's pooped by mistake while eating a banana really slowly), and you’ll never be the same again. Don’t judge me okay? I was like13 for God's sake, how was I to know? This brings back a lot of awkward memories ("sob"), in fact I think you should leave now. Just go, now, please. And as for that kiss, forget about it, the mood is totally gone now, I can't believe you made me remember that. "Sob, sob, sob, sob, sob"

Enjoy the album. 

See you tomorrow. 

Oh and did I mention? It may also make you get extremely emotional. 

... forgave Spotify for all the songs it played me that I didn't like today

MUSIC

SOUL REVIEWS

06-08-2022 02:30 GMT

Music by indie artist, Mike Hargreaves on Spotify | Apple Music

Mike Hargreaves

"Until it Happens to You"
Soul


Good vibes so pure I almost wee-weed in my office chair ("sigh!"). I'm so happy. In fact I even totally forgave Spotify for all the songs it played me that I didn't like today. There were so many, as usual ("hiss!").

The good old phrase “I need a hand” seems to have taken on a whole new meaning in this sex crazy, deranged world we live in today. Did you know that? I had to find out the hard way. I rushed into my new intern colleague’s office early this morning before anyone else had come in and said it – “quick, I need a hand”. After a little blushing and a cheeky seductive smile, my eyes were met with something I was totally not expecting to see on a weekday morning and hands reaching towards somewhere I would normally not expect them to be going, again not on a weekday morning, in fact not on any morning in the office at all. The words “quick, before anyone else comes in” followed in gentle whispers that sent chills all over my body. Where my old teenage fantasies finally coming true? Years after I had given up trying to make them happen and buckled down to get my life together and be somebody? Was I ready? Was it right? Would we get caught? What if we did? Would the fantasies go a step further? So that whoever caught us joined in and instead of “blowing the whistle” blew on something else? To cut a long story short, I quickly snapped out of it and nothing happened. I shook my head and walked out in disgust, with anger and regret fighting every part of my body that was still tingling and I knew would tingle all day long. I didn’t tell anybody, except you. Don’t tell anybody okay? 

Now back to this sizzling hot record. The track was released back in 2020, but with all the stuff that’s been going on in the world, like most things it didn’t get the full attention it deserved because most of us were distracted, you know, with Covid, and bills and stuff. 

To be honest with you, I hate that I love this so much. Kind of like people who are so nice all the damn time. You know those ones who allow others to go before them all the time? The ones that, even if they needed to make poopoo urgently and were crowning, would still offer to let someone else go in the toilet stall before them? Arghh!! 

Have you noticed that people like that are becoming rarer and rarer? Like kids who used to toilet paper people’s front yards, you don’t see that at all of late – heck no, toilet paper gained a new respect from human kind during the pandemic, and it looks like things are going to stay that way for a very long time, ("sigh!!").  But we’re straying slightly, let’s come back to the song. I’ve got it playing right now and that’s what it'll do to you. You know those songs that just play away and fade into the background before burying themselves in the subconscious part of your mind and doing amazing things to you that you may not even realise they are doing till the song is over and you realise you've shared way too much information with a total stranger? Well, this is one of them. To be honest with you again, if this song doesn’t brighten up your day you’re really screwed – I hate to be that honest but sometimes it’s the only way to go. The minute you hit the play button you’ll know what’s about to happen to you and you will instantly do one of two things. You’ll either quickly hit the stop button, or rather the pause button (have you noticed thanks to Spotify the stop button has been completely abolished? When last did you see one? We’ll talk about how steamed we are about that later, darn Spotify, ruining everything). Or the second thing you may do is you’ll put everything down and just let go and let it do its thing. Which one did you think I did? I did the first one. I knew exactly what the song was about to do to me and I knew I wasn’t ready. I was elbow deep in some serious work with my hands metaphorically firmly gripping the horns of a really wild bull moments before flipping it over and making a stake out of it - yep, I take my work pretty seriously. To cut a long story short I successfully completed the task and I knew exactly what song to play as I sat back in my office chair arrogantly contemplating how much of a raise to demand next time I see the HR guy 😊. Now I can’t get the darn song to stop playing in my head every time I get my wallet out to pay for something – now that I think about it, it’s kind of like one of those infectious, really bright and colourful Bruno Mars type records, but better. 

Invincible

MUSIC

HIP HOP REVIEWS

06-04-2022 04:12 GMT

Music by indie artist, Chingy on Apple Music | Spotify

Chingy

"Invincible"
Hip Hop


Positive vibes

… so two guys walk into a bar, right? One of them says to the other, “I’m not wearing anything under this trench coat”, with a big smile on his face as if expecting some sort of approval or praise. The other guy walks out of the bar with a straight face and doesn’t look back.

That’s it. 

You were expecting a punchline weren’t you? He-he-he. There’s none. 

Here at the SRL writers room we quite enjoy painfully unfunny jokes - it's an acquired taste, don't worry, you're not there yet. You’ll read a lot of them here, they’re hilarious 😊. They always come with a subtle message though, and some food for thought. So don’t worry, this is not one of those places that you can guarantee would be an utter waste of your time every single time. Sure, you’ll always leave with an AMAZING track to bring your awful, braindead Spotify playlists to life, but we want our readers to leave with more than just amazing songs and albums - we want to add value to their lives as well. That’s not to say we succeed, but we try – and trying is everything. As the old Snoop Dogg saying goes, “Ain’t nothing to it but to do it”, or something like that. In other words, whatever you want to do, no matter how farfetched it may seem, just do it - and that’s exactly what we do. The moral of that very unfunny story was that if you are uncomfortable with anything at all you shouldn’t be afraid to get up and leave IMMEDIATELY. Your mind and body are telling you something whenever you start to feel uncomfortable about a situation. They’re telling you that you either don’t agree with what’s happening or that what’s about to happen is too unpredictable for comfort. With that being said, I’d like to gently remind you that things could get uncomfortable really fast here at the Skunk Radio Live writers room. We don’t hold back anything but we generally mean no harm when we write. We don’t like politics and we don’t discuss it. In fact, throughout the time he was president of the United States, we only referred to him as Ronald Plump, you know who we’re talking about right? And nowadays if we ever talk about the recent conflicts in Europe, we might use words like Lootin’ or Poopin’, or whatever rhymes at the time – again, we mean no harm, just trying to avoid talking about politics and calling politicians' names. Not saying anyone is looting or is acting like a poopoo head.

Gladly, this song is not about politics, it makes no attempt to label anyone a poopoo head and it’s most certainly not about ill-gotten gains – like most mainstream hip hop records tend to be nowadays right?

St. Louis rapper Chingy is slowly but surely clawing his way back to the top after falling from grace and staying out of the limelight for a while a few years back. Each of his new records shows immense growth and development stylistically and artistically as he takes his signature nursery rhyme rap style and rebuilds it from the ground up, keeping all the amazing things fans fell in love with about the multiplatinum, award-winning hip hop star, who has sold over 20 million hard copies worldwide, something most new artists today will sadly never be able to claim they did ever again in the history of the music industry – and no, not even Kanye West. At $200 a piece, 20 million seems very farfetched to even think of, and the whole "Donda 2" (or whatever it's called) move in general seems like a billionaire’s desperate attempt to stay afloat in the middle of a pandemic and a global financial crisis. But what do we know, we’re not accountants and plus, it took many of us here years of brain fatigue from listening to the relentless ads of Spotify’s free service before finally giving up and signing up for PRO. It wasn’t about the money, it was about the principle. Spotify’s business model devalued the music industry and made every existing song and every song that will be created in perpetuity a worthless piece of you know what, essentially. Nowadays, a song is no longer what makes money for the musicians that spent countless hours, days, months and even years making them. It’s what is done with the records and the publicity that results that makes the money. So it’s no surprise a lot of music sucks these days, morale is low in the industry and musicians are spending a lot more time trying to figure out how to make a living in the industry than how to make a good record – who can blame them right?

But anyway, where were we? Ah yes, Chingy’s amazing new record, which has, not only got fans and critics raving again; but is also doing well to raise the morale of die-hard rap fans whose souls are dying really slowly from records where all the praise should really go to the producers rather than the artists. Yes, a good hip hop beat will blow your socks off quicker wasabi, but no one wants to hear what is increasingly seeming like the same lyrics of the last song they heard re-arranged into a different order and performed in a different style and tempo. 

This song is different. Chingy is from the old school era of music when artistic integrity and lyrical prowess mattered whether you were making hip hop, rock or even electronica; and consequently, the track reeks of the results of hours of writing and re-writing, and several takes of vocal recording; not like new records that sound like they were done in one take most of the time. If you strip a hip hop record of all the guns and violence, take away all the showering of champagnes and other yellowish liquids on girls at pool parties; and all the fingers and other things out of the poor ladies' butt holes; and all the mindless but ever so exciting stuff rappers are polluting our minds with, but we apparently love so much as far as the music industry is concerned; this is what you get – positive rap music about love, good vibes, family, friends and being amazing just being ones self. Phew! finally, something positive right? 

Enjoy! 

Thank me later with a big ass box of chocolates and some beef jerky, it’s almost 4:20 AM 😊. 

JK, chocolates are so gay. 

Explicit.

For sinners

MUSIC

ALTERNATIVE ROCK REVIEWS

24-03-2022 02:31 GMT

Music by indie artist, Elliott Waits For No One on Apple Music | Spotify

Elliott Waits For No One

"Original Sin"
Alternative Rock



Did anyone else in the world find it strange or at least too much of a coincidence that Obama killed Osama? And not only that the names were so similar but that the very letters that made their names different were B and S? Was it all BS? Did they know each other? Was Obama Osama? Is anything even real? No one knows anything anymore. 

Is it weird that the world is round and yet people on the underside of the planet don't have all the blood in their bodies rushing to their brains because they are essentially upside down? And how come everything in their houses are not on the ceiling? And don’t say because of gravity, that’s totally insane. Can anyone even get an erection under those conditions? Or could that be where the abstruse idea of soft dildos came from? I mean who says to themselves day and night that, and I quote, “a hard man is so good to find”, and then goes out and buys a soft dildo? Only someone from a land of soft willies, wouldn’t you say? And wait, if those people are upside down, shouldn’t their clocks be going backwards? You know, like in a mirror? 

If sex, money, drugs and everything that’s amazing is on God’s list of don’ts, doesn’t it mean most humans, contrary to what they say, would rather go to Hell? I mean think about it – everybody sober-facing each other day and night in Heaven, no cursing - even if you stub your small toe, no new booty (will we even be allowed to have sex?), no getting high, no binging on potato chips, drinking only enough wine to be almost tipsy, eating bread and fish every day; and last but not least but worst of all – if Hell is hot and Heaven is the opposite of Hell, does that mean it’s winter in Heaven all year round? "Aww, Hell no!!", I hear you say, and rightfully so.  Which leads to the main question that has really been bugging me lately - did Eve have an apple bottom? Is that why we are all stuck here in this crazy mess? Because Adam was a filthy, filthy boy and ate the booty? Think about it. Adam’s snake, the apple, the eating, everyone was naked – seems like a recipe for sexy time if you ask me. 

“So why all these crazy thoughts, and where is this all going?”, I hear you think to yourself. Well, I was just listening to this really cool track that opened up my mind quicker than a bag of super skunk (not that I’ve smoked it before, that’s just what I've heard, “wink, wink”). I didn’t want you to get into it thinking it was great so I decided to just take you to a special place in your mind first, and I can tell you are there now. Don’t ask how I know, I just know. I can also tell you have a really big bush. Just kidding. But it kind of sort of feels like you do now that I think about it (he-he-he). Don’t worry, let that be our little secret - no one’s judging you here. But it's 2022 for God’s sake! If you do have one, get rid of it immediately and don’t do it again. 

Okay so let’s get into this song, you’re definitely ready. “Original Sin” sits in position number 5 of Chicago alternative rock trio Elliott Waits For No One’s critically acclaimed self-titled summer 2020 album “Elliott Waits For No One”. Having excelled individually on their respective local music scenes for several years before forming the group, it was an album that brought a lot of big sounds together and merged them so skillfully that it was hard for it not to be a masterpiece. It took critics and fans alike aback and many of the tracks on the independently released record are still winning awards till today, over 2 years after its release. “Original Sin” initially stood out to me because of the title but when I finally got to listen to it I was hooked. It's mellow, melancholic and just almost pensive. It burns really slow and it’s almost as if it takes your hand and walks you to a serene place where you just want nothing more than to be. That’s all I’m saying about it. Saying anymore about it would be like trying to explain why a McDonald’s Big Mac is one of the best burgers you’ll ever eat on earth – no one really knows why, it’s just amazing. 

And remember this: just because something’s right there in front of you doesn’t mean it’s there for you. Don’t worry, you’ll know what to do with that information when the time is right. If you don’t and it keeps you up all night, write me a letter and I’ll be sure to write you back. 

That's all for now. 

Hugs and kisses, 

 Me Who 

(I’m not Chinese, don't ask 😊)

A Little Bit Above Low Key

MUSIC

HIP HOP REVIEWS

16-02-2022 03:18 GMT

Music by indie artist, Eyenine on Spotify | Apple Music

Eyenine

"A Little Bit Avove Low Key"
Hip Hop


Stimulate your intelligence

Not for the shallow-minded, to be honest

Telepathic grenade

The title of this album is so much of an understatement that if it was understated anymore it would have no title at all. Eyenine has always been a very down to earth and focused individual from the very beginning, so this is not unexpected. 

It’s not uncommon for people to sometimes downplay their best works in case it’s not good enough for whoever’s judging – in fact everyone’s doing it nowadays, and shamelessly even. Rappers are surfacing left right and center with names like Shitbag and Poopoohead, and tattoos on their faces that make Mike Tyson look like a pretty boy. That's definitely not what was happening here with the title though - guess you really shouldn't judge an album by its cover after all - silly me. But if this was an attempt to downplay the album in case it wasn’t good enough, it certainly failed - it was amazing! Nowadays people seem more excited about junk than anything else. It seems like it has become more fun than ever before to laugh at something bad than it is to appreciate something that's as close to perfect as is humanly possible, he-he-he. Think about it - if Mr. Bean ran for president against whoever your favorite politician is, wouldn't a small part of you be itching to vote for Bean? 

People walk into the most expensive stores nowadays and emerge with clothes that a person from the dirtiest slums would in previous years have been ashamed to wear, and jeans so tight you may have an orgasm if you walk too fast for too long. How long will it be before fashion designers start selling deodorants, perfumes and colognes that smell like filthy sweat and body odour? Remember how you smelled when your body was going through all those embarrassing changes and no deodorant was strong enough? He-he-he. Just wait and see. Look out in your favourite stores for "B.O" pour Homme, by Kanye West obviously - and “Hoochie Coochie” for the ladies. But why even stop there? How about underwear with doodoo stains ey? Why not go all out. 

But where were we? See how we drifted off? That’s the sort of casual feel you get when you first start to listen to this album, and then it takes you deeper and deeper into your mind till you start to feel like you are not alone even when no one is around you. Just take a closer look at the album cover and you’ll know that what you are about to listen to is the product of a really exciting and intelligent mind. Unlike the title suggests, it will take you on an adventure to a place so far away from your mediocre music library that the next time you open Spotify you won’t even hit the play button. This isn’t one of those “fuck you” albums dedicated to everybody who's hating; or one of those albums you listen to while you're thinking about devouring Kim Kardashian's bits or doing  whatever you kids are doing these days in the back of your Maybachs and Bentleys, and your 10 bedroom multi-million dollar mansions, and your helicopters. This is a sophisticated hip hop masterpiece that is best suited for the most pensive of moments. It’s packed with exciting skits that make it feel like a movie. After the first 3 or 4 tracks, you’ll start to feel like your brain is being permeated by intelligence. 10 tracks, 31 minutes and 5 seconds later, when you open your eyes, and realize they’d been open all along; you’ll feel like you know stuff. 

 Sadly none of your playlists is good enough for this album, just create a new one and name it something really smart. 

Enjoy. 

Explicit. 

Cryptocurrency

MUSIC

REGGAE REVIEWS

28-10-2021 17:04 GMT

Music by indie artist, Honorebel on Apple Music | Spotify

Honorebel

"Cryptocurrency"
Reggae


Put your money where your mouth is.

After less than a month, as the case has been since the start of his illustrious independent music career over a decade ago, the king of Miami, Florida’s independent reggae music scene, and one of the Southeast’s hardest working reggae musicians by any standards returned to the spotlight with a hot new record back in February. Needless to say, the track was right on the money (get it?) and “Cryptocurrency” is still spinning out of control on some the region’s most highly respected turntables. 

So what can one expect from what has been called  one of the most relevant reggae tracks of all time? Well, Everything! of course. Danceable, tropical, sensible in terms of lyrical content, but most importantly contextually, it touches on one of the most important changes mankind has faced since the Barter economies, which date as far back as 6000 BC, when people exchanged goods and services for, well, other goods and services. Would it be sexist to think women were probably the richest people on the planet then, or would that just be filthy? Okay let’s not say then, moving on… In case you were wondering, that was where the tagline of this review “put your money where your mouth is” came from, one of the filthy, filthy minds around here. To cut a long story short, this is one of those songs you play on the way to the bank with a pocket full of money or on the way back from the bank, with a pocket full of money of course. Oh wait, no one even goes to the bank anymore – so, play this when you open up your mobile banking app or your digital currency account or whatever money thingies you use to look at the manifestations of your hard (or not so hard) work. Once the Afro rhythms and the warm, feelgood vibes have embedded themselves deeply in your very essence, the only word coming out of your mouth would be that typical of an African left speechless in the most extreme of moments of wonderment, disbelief or enjoyment – Chai!! 

Love Hurts

MUSIC

COUNTRY REVIEWS

18-10-2021 16:36 GMT

Music by indie artist, Christie Huff on Apple Music | Spotify

Christie Huff

"Canvas"
Country


For your broken heart

Unrequited love really hurts, or at least so we've heard. If you are anything like us, the beautiful, wild, immortal sex gods and goddesses here in the Skunk Radio Live writers’ room, then you’ve probably and will obviously never know what that feels like. So here is a song to give you an idea, from a woman’s perspective. 

In her critically acclaimed April 2020 single, California’s emerging country pop music sensation talks about love once again and takes listeners on a musical escapade through the trials and tribulations of a broken heart. The track was written all the way back in 2017 when she first performed an acoustic version during her web series “Christie’s Couch Sessions”.