The World is Yours

MUSIC

HIP HOP REVIEWS

15-02-2025 01:41 GMT

Music by indie artist, Coolidge on Apple Music | Spotify

Coolidge

"Mill"
Hip Hop




My baby’s baby walked in the room late last night while I was doing my sexercise.

Wait wait wait, hold on. Let’s start again, that’s too strong. I know you weren’t expecting that… Let’s start over.

The title of this article is “The World is Yours”. If you are not familiar with the SRL Writers Room, that’s how we do things around here. There are two titles – one inside the page and one outside the page above the address bar. Sometimes they are both the same and other times they are different. If you don’t understand why, you will soon, hopefully.

Okay, let's start now.

When I walked into the office this morning there was total silence. I paused to look around and everyone immediately looked away and pretended they were working hard or looking for something. Some even started whistling for no reason and cleaning things that didn't look like they ever needed to be cleaned. As I walked along I heard whispers and some chuckles but thought nothing of it. It got even quieter. I put my head down and started to walk faster, wondering if they knew. I bumped into someone, or should I say something - well two actually, it was a pair. It was my boss, I bumped into her chest. Yes, she’s huge, with breasts so big they annoy me sometimes. She said to me furiously as she walked away: “hey, look where you’re going Mr. Bruce Willis. I thought to myself “Bruce Willis?”

As I continued to walk I heard someone in the distance say “hey look, it’s Bruce Bruce” and then they had a good laugh together. I stopped at my secretary’s desk to pick up letters and, with a big grin on her face she said: “Hey Donald”, and winked twice as she handed me my letters. I gasped deeply inside as I thought to myself: “they know”. I put my head down in shame, rushed into my office and closed all the blinds. I haven’t come out since.

It’s me “The Ideas Guy”, by the way. If you haven’t read my article “How to Turn Water to Wine” on SRL News, you’d better head over there after this, it’s going viral. [Here’s a link]

I know you’re wondering what all that name calling when I got into the office was about, so I’ll explain. Don’t worry, we’ll get down to the music review shortly. And I promise you, you’re gonna LOVE it.

Okay, so let me explain.

My baby’s baby walked in the room late last night while I was doing my sexercise. I was so furious because my cheeks were totally exposed and it wasn’t the good side. Apparently she had run out of milk and needed a refill. She stormed out madder than me, crying, yelling “mummy, you said I couldn’t do that anymore, why is HE doing it?”

I was so embarrassed because I’m lactose intolerant so I never do that, I don’t know what came over me. Later that night, I got up to have a little weewee but I couldn’t find a towel so I grabbed whatever I could find lying around, wrapped it around my waist and dashed to the bathroom. Just as I was about to start going, I heard loud footsteps coming down the hallway. Who could that be? Everyone was asleep. I tried to stop going but I had already started. I panicked as the footsteps drew closer and closer, louder and louder. I squeezed my bladder harder in a bid to finish quicker but it just kept coming. I looked backwards over my shoulder repeatedly as the footsteps drew closer, utterly terrified. Eventually it was too late. There was a huge thump and the door swung open. It was HER. And she was FURIOUS. I had finished so I quickly looked down to tuck my little buddy away. He's not little, that's just what I call him. I suddenly noticed that the pink warm fuzzy item of clothing I had picked up and tied around my waist wasn’t one of my girlfriend’s sweaters or lady things – it was her daughter’s favourite Donald Duck sweater. I knew I was in trouble. She charged at me waving her Barbie in the air like a crazy person that had just escaped from the asylum. I didn’t know what to make of it. She looked so scary and angry. I was still very tipsy so I panicked. I screamed like a little girl and covered my face with both palms in a defensive position. She stopped suddenly. Then she did the fiercest, most sinister and malicious thing anyone could ever do in that situation – she reached for her sweater... and then... she zipped it up really hard - all the way to the top. And then skipped away like a sissy with a bag of dicks. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrghhhhh” I yelled out in agony as I looked down, terrified. My little buddy was hanging out helplessly, choking. It burned! So I screamed out “Aaaaaarrrrghhhh, it burns! It burns!”

My girlfriend woke up, the nanny came running. All the neighbours woke up and were banging on the door. Within minutes more than ten people had poured in as I lay on the bathroom floor helplessly, wearing nothing but a toddler’s really tiny Donald Duck sweater around my waste, with my little buddy hanging out for everyone to see as I struggled to cover it – the neighbours, the ambulance crew, two firemen for some reason, a police man, the guy at the concierge, the elevator operator, my girlfriend, and the nanny. We soon discovered that what we feared wasn’t actually the case. Yes, she had zipped the sweater all the way up to the top, but contrary to her evil intentions (which was what I had been reacting to), she had only managed to catch a few of hairs in the zipper, not my buddy - I was looking at it upside down. I had been so scared that I panicked and assumed the worst, and even felt the pain as if the worst had already happened. I felt so silly. Everyone laughed at me as the room emptied, shaking their heads as they left. My girlfriend thought it was so funny, and apparently she has told everybody. To cut a long story short, that was what led to the nicknames earlier on when I walked into the office. "Bruised Willis" (in reference to the actor Bruce Willis), "Bruce Bruised" (in reference to the comedian Bruce Bruce), Willie Wanker(in reference to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, insinuating that I might have been "spanking my monkey" when the incident occured), and Donald (because I was wearing a toddler’s Donald Duck sweater). I’m sure there are more coming so I’m bracing myself.

Phew! The whole thing has been weighing on me heavy all morning, I really needed to tell somebody. I’m so glad I did. Thanks for listening, I feel so much better now. Okay let’s get down to the music review that you and I both are here for. You’re gonna love this one I promise.

Drevo Coolidge, an up-and-coming independent hip-hop artist who needs no introduction, released his latest track, “Mill,” on February 14, 2025. Following in the footsteps of most of his previous releases, the track offers an exciting burst of energy that is guaranteed to hit the sweet spot of hip hop fans looking for something true and real. Boasting an exhilarating blend of groovy beats, empowered lyrics, and a sense of unrelenting drive, it has the potential to captivate listeners from all walks of life in ways only a few of the very best hip hop artists can. From the very first notes, it’s clear that "Mill" is all about pushing boundaries, making moves, and embracing the pursuit of wealth and success. The song's beat is vibrant, steady, and relentlessly catchy. It strikes that perfect balance between high-energy exhilaration and a smooth, rhythmic groove that hooks you immediately. But it’s not just about the beat; the musical composition also features a subtle yet commanding piano, which injects the track with a sophisticated flair. The piano doesn’t overwhelm the sound but rather complements the dynamic production, giving the song a nuanced layer that balances out the upbeat tempo. It feels innovative yet ever so familiar. Lyrically, “Mill” is a song for dreamers and hustlers alike. Coolidge is clearly no stranger to the grind, and his words echo the spirit of ambition that drives not just hip-hop artists, but anyone with their eyes on the prize.

Well what are you waiting for? Hit the play button already and share this with everyone you love.

Have an amazing day, and remember to always remember that the world is yours, and everything inside it.

Now go on out there and be somebody.



Explicit.

Euphoria

MUSIC

HIP HOP REVIEWS

18-05-2024 16:38 GMT

Music by indie artist, Chingy on YouTube | Spotify

Chingy

"Nu Beginnings"
Hip Hop


Euphoria

I walked in on my boss shooting ping-pong balls out of her lady garden this morning. It was really awkward but she was very aloof about the whole thing. She said: “Ah it’s you, come on in and take a seat”. I entered cautiously, still trying to process what I had just seen or if I had in fact seen what I had just seen. There were ping-pong balls everywhere, so many; so I knew I wasn’t seeing things – I had definitely seen what I saw. 

I generally don’t talk to other human beings because I’m way too intelligent for them to understand the words that are coming out of my mouth most of the time. Not all the time, but most of the time. 100% of the time I totally understand what they are saying but 50% of the time it’s sh*te and 50% of the other 50% of the time it makes absolutely no sense to me - I understand what they are saying, but it’s totally nuts to me. And I’m not anti-social, I promise. Like I said before, I’m just really intelligent. 

If you think that’s the most annoying and arrogant thing you’ve ever heard a person say, you’d better stop reading now. That’s not the most arrogant thing I’ve ever said. In fact, I don’t think it’s arrogant at all and I think it's a little arrogant of you to think it's arrogant. I haven't always been like this, I’m not the same person I was when I started out as a writer. I’ve grown a lot and become a much better person. It's all thanks to my boss, the same lady who was shooting ping-pong balls out of her ... err ... her ... love tunnel. 

You see, when I first started out I hated Everything and Everybody. It was a very general hate, not necessarily directed at anything or anyone specific - everything was just sh*t as far as I was concerned, and everyone sucked. I was really focused but people always wanted to talk – often about nothing. Before long everyone in the office was talking behind my back. 

My boss called me into her office one day. I went in and sat on the chair that had been prepared for me, opposite her desk. Right in front of me on the desk, there was a calendar and a jar of milk, carefully arranged so that it was the only thing I could see. She kept on typing on her computer and let me stare at them for a while. I could tell she wasn’t actually typing anything because she was peeking at me the whole time with her lips pressed together and her glasses hanging at the tip of her nose. She looked as though my presence disgusted her. 

After a few minutes, she stopped typing and took off her glasses. And started to explain what I was looking at.  She said: “You see… milk is good ... but after a few days it must go bad. That doesn’t change the fact that it’s good. People may suck sometimes, but it doesn’t change the fact that they’re still good people deep down inside, whether they know it or not.”

I’m lactose intolerant so that was a really bad analogy for me. Just last week I almost strangled my intern for bringing me a latte. But I totally got what she was saying nevertheless. 

She went on to explain: “If your life sucks, and I know it does, now that you hate everything; have you ever wondered what it might be like if you flipped your attitude over on its head and approached things with love instead of resentment?” 

I replied stubbornly: “that would be absolutely insane, why would I do that? I would do no such thing, just tell them all to leave me the f*ck alone and stop talking to me". 

She stood up and sighed; frustrated and impatient. She walked over and gestured repeatedly while saying “stand up”. I stood up. I had never really noticed how much taller than me she was until then. I was eye to eye with her… em... her ... emm … bazookas (that’s her breasts). It was really uncomfortable because I was standing really close and trying not to look at them but they were pointing right at me. They were so perky and big. I suddenly got a whiff of baby powder and cigarettes; so I knew I was standing way too close. I got scared, as if she might have detected that I’d just accidentally sniffed her … em… her ... em … her fun sacks (that’s her breasts too). I quickly started to take a step backwards so I could look up at her face. All of a sudden she grabbed the back of my head and shoved my face right into her cleavage. I struggled frantically, I wasn’t sure what was happening, but after a few seconds my heart stopped racing and I realized nothing bad was actually happening, in fact it was all good. I’ve had many fantasies but I’ve never ever imagined anything that awesome. I relaxed completely. I felt like a baby again. There was a rapid influx of pleasant feelings into my entire body – love, peace, contentment, forgiveness, joy, thanksgiving, and a sense of release. I was relaxed, more relaxed than I had ever been my whole life. I guess her job was done - she let me go and pushed me away, saying: “You’d better not have enjoyed that. Now get out, I need a fag (that’s a cigarette - not a man 😊)”. I’ve never hated anyone since. 

Fast forward 10 months; and I’m like Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan with a pen and a pad. I hit you with a left, hit you with a right, hit you with an uppercut and by the end of it all there’s so much bodily fluids in the air you’d think you were at a baby shower (that’s an orgy). Did you get it? Ladies getting showered with baby batter? I can’t believe I had to explain that. Okay buckle up now, we’ve got a long way to go; and I guarantee you I’ll make you squeeze that noodle of yours every step of the way. 

See, there were a lot of things going on in my life when I first started out as a writer, and I had absolutely no control over what was happening to me. Every day it was a different story, and it was always a surprise. I never saw it coming and I never could have anticipated it – it was almost like magic, but bad magic. It was almost as if nothing good could ever happen in my life. But at least now I had learned to love. At least I was no longer quick to blame this person or that person for this event or that event. That was a win bigger than I had known at the time. 

I went on to have several of such meetings with my boss, not just the one I mentioned. There were in fact 10. Each time she presented me with 2 items and at the end she had somehow taught me a lesson that changed my entire life for the better. Today was the 10th and final meeting, "the grand finale" as she called it. Hence, the ping-pong balls. But we'll talk about that a little bit later, or maybe in another article. And then you'll know why I was confident enough to say the arrogant things I said at the beginning of this article – so that you too can learn, and go on to say arrogant things to the people in your life, who you will no longer be able to engage in small talk with owing to your superior intelligence. 

The following month, I was staggering into the office early in the morning after a late night out with my two good friends Mary and Jack. My head was still spinning a little bit so I was hoping I could just sneak into my office and nobody would talk to me.

I started to tiptoe past my boss’s office when the door opened suddenly. She was wearing a really low cut yellow top. My mind flashed back to our last meeting and I got severely aroused IMMEDIATELY. But she looked really stern, like I had done something wrong again. She gestured with one finger and said “come here”. I followed her into the office. She shut the door really hard and said: “Sit down”. I sat. 

She said: “Your writing sucks balls ... It’s terrible”. 

I was hurt really bad because I literally thought I was at the top of my game at the time. 

She continued: “What’s the key to success?” 

I was still a little drunk so I scratched my head and just blurted out the first thing that came to my mind. I said: “Em, I don’t know? Eem, hard work?” 

She exclaimed: “Jesus Christ! I’ve hired another moron!! Moron!!!” 

She pointed at the items in front of me on the table, which I hadn’t noticed at the time, and said: “What’s that in front of you?” 

It was a hammer. 

She said “well don’t just look at it, pick it up. I’ve got stuff to do today don’t waste my time”. 

Then she pointed at the item next to it and said: “What’s that?” 

It was a really big wooden boat. There was a figurine of a man with a long white beard in front of it. 

I said “I don’t know? A boat?” 

She replied: “That’s Noah’s ark, can’t you see the man with the long white beard standing right in front of it?” 

I said: “Oh, yeah” and nodded. 

Then she said: “Now smash it”. 

I replied: “What? No, I’m not smashing Noah’s Ark. Wouldn’t that be blasphemy or something?” 

And she replied: “Oh my God, he’s a moron. He's really a moron. Gimme the hammer” 

She rushed over to me angrily and grabbed it, then proceeded to smash the ark to pieces like a deranged person. I was a little bit scared. She went back to her seat. I didn’t know what to think. I looked at Noah. Noah was still standing but his head had been chopped off, everything else was in shambles. 

She spoke angrily: “The secret to success is breaking all the rules. Find out what the rules are, and then break them, that’s how you get ahead - BE DIFFERENT, DEFY GRAVITY.” 

I protested: “Wouldn’t that be illegal?” 

She said: “Illegal?!” 

She chuckled and replied: “Oh my God, you really are a moron aren’t you? I didn’t say break the law I said the rules”. She sighed again and then paused, as if to think for a second about whether she was wasting her time with me - as if I couldn’t be fixed. Then she looked at me as if she had given up, and said: “Get out”. I felt so hurt, like a total idiot; and a little tear came into the corner of my eye as I stood up to leave with my head down. She called me back, she said: “Wait”. I turned around, and she buried my head in-between her err… em … her … em … chesticles (that’s her breasts), for the second time. I was ecstatic! It totally cheered me up and made me feel like there was hope for me in the music industry. I vowed, without words, to make her proud. 

By the third month my life had taken another turn. I woke up one day and got ready for work only to realise I hadn’t got a penny to my name. All my credit cards were maxed out and my bank account was empty. I didn’t have any money on my Oyster card either. I was still on probation so I had no choice but to call my boss and tell her I wasn’t going to be able to make it to work. I was so embarrassed but I picked up the phone anyway and called, and she picked up immediately. 

She said: “Yuk, what are you doing on my phone?” 

Just as I was about to start talking she quickly caught me off and said: “Look outside your window”. 

I looked outside. It was her, she was parked outside my house. She was in a black Mercedes Benz G Wagon. 

She said: “Hurry up boy, I can’t be seen in this disgusting neighbourhood”. 

I ran down to the car and got in. I greeted her “good morning”. 

She responded as she drove off without looking at me: “What's good about your morning? You suck - I'd bet it sucks”. She was right. There was total silence. 

She drove really fast, almost like a crazy person, her eyes fixed fiercely on the road as if she was looking for something, or someone. There was a really shiny hair brush on the dashboard just in front of me. The hairs on it looked really thick and weird, and curled up. I tried to look away but I couldn’t stop looking at it. I also noticed that it still had the price tag on, even though it had clearly been used many times. When I looked a little closer at the tag I noticed it was priced in dollars, not British Pounds Sterling. I looked a little more closely to see how much it was. It was $8,000,000. I didn’t believe my eyes so I moved my head forward slightly and squinted. I was right, it literally cost $8,000,000. 

She noticed me looking and said: “You like my brush?” 

I said: “Yeah, it’s really shiny”. 

She said: “Take it”. 

I grabbed it immediately to look at the price tag even closer and yelled: “This brush cost 8 million?” 

She replied: “No, it’s WORTH 8 million – it’s for my squish mitten (that’s her vagina)” 

I cringed, I didn’t need to know that. I put it back on the dashboard really slowly; disgusted and confused.  

We didn’t talk for the rest of the ride. 

She stopped the car suddenly a few blocks away from the office and said: “Get out and walk, I can’t be seen with you”. 

I got out. She sped off. 

By this time, she had secretly implanted 3 very vivid images in my mind that made me aware of very specific words every time I recalled them – the jar of milk and the calendar (love), Noah and the hammer (success), the hair brush and the price tag (self worth). She went on to plant 7 more, one every month. Each time she led or finished with something really arousing, sex related or extremely bizarre. Let's talk about them in my next article. 

This article is titled "Euphoria" (look at the top of the browser window and you'll see. If you're on a mobile device then minimize or cascade the window and you'll see it). I'll call the follow up to this article "Euphoria Part II" to make it easier for you to find. I'll also make sure it follows this article in series so you can never miss it. Oh, and by the way it’s me “The Imagination Guy”. I’m sure you’ve heard of me. Good things I hope.

Okay let's do the music review of the day. You're gonna love it. 

The song we are going to review is by an artist who needs no introduction. 20 million records sold, a Soul Train Music Award, 2 BillBoard Music Awards and 4 BillBoard Top 10 Hits; but most importantly, a signature vocal performance style that has NEVER been emulated or duplicated since it was created just over 20 years ago. Chingy’s new single “Nu Beginnings” was released to critical acclaim on the 19th of April and is available to stream and download on Spotify, YouTube, Apple Music, Tidal and all popular digital music streaming and download platforms. 

The track is sensational, I was hooked from the first note. I’m a sucker for flutes, but an even bigger sucker for sonic textures. It’s got the best of everything a discerning hip hop fan would demand from a rap record. Unlike many of today’s hip hop releases, it sounds like it took a lot of time to produce and it sounds very artistic. The lyrics, the flows, the bounce, the overall vibe, the ambiance – all feel like they were meticulously crafted and then perfected over and over till the masterpiece revealed itself. It’s got a very urgent and relentless feel-good vibe about it. It seizes all of your attention and holds it tight until your mind explodes in ecstasy, plunging you into a deep state of euphoria so pleasant you’ll think Jesus is cumming. I literally had to pause for a second to catch my breath half way through the track. I haven’t done that for a very long time - what a rush. 

This is BIG. This is HUGE. This is MASSIVE. This deserves the Number 1 spot on the BillBoard charts and should even win a Grammy. Let’s make it happen, the power is in your hands – yes, YOU. Start by adding it to all your top hip hop playlists and then share it with all your friends. Let’s go!

Explicit.

... for anyone who has never owned a CD player

MUSIC

HIP HOP REVIEWS

18-04-2023 13:13 GMT

Music by indie artist, Yung Rackz on Apple Music | Spotify

Yung Rackz

"Back In The Day"
Hip Hop




If you haven’t been here before; welcome to one of the dirtiest places on the internet right now after Porn Hub, MTV and literally any hip hop music website. But no, there is no ass eating, or calling b*tches hoes, or thong wearing, or unscrupulous flinging of dry faecal matter in the air (oops!! I mean twerking). It’s tastefully dirty, almost even classy. Kind of like Madonna, or Marilyn Monroe - but definitely not like Kim Kardashian at all, or Cardi B - yuk, yuk, yuk. 

To cut a long story short, this isn’t your regular music review website and if you're sensitive your feelings will get really hurt really fast. If you’ve never been here before you should probably leave right now, but that’s entirely up to you. Actually I think you can just head over here and read my previous article which was titled Jesus, P*ssy and Dollars and then decide if you would like to stay or not. Even my closest colleagues are still campaigning to have me removed from the SRL writers room for it. 

Okay I see you've decided to stay - ballsy, but cool. Let's do this! 

On Monday I had the weirdest, most uncomfortable meeting I’ve ever had in my life. I don’t embarrass easily but this was super awkward. I’m hoping the people involved read this so they can get a good understanding about what actually happened because no one addressed the elephant in the room even though we all couldn't stop looking at it throughout. 

Here’s what had happened. My boss has got this really annoying toddler. She strolls around in her Ferrari baby walker thingy demanding juice and barging in unexpectedly when I’m playing "Call Of Booty (wink, wink)"  with her mommy in the night (and in the mornings too sometimes). Wait, did I also tell you my girlfriend is my  boss? Yep, it’s pretty awesome. You should try it. In fact, I just got a pay rise. Anyway, the little twat has done a lot of crazy stuff in the past but nothing tops what happened on Monday morning while I was making brownies (💩). She badged into the toilet like the police telling me she had run out of juice or she needed a nappy change or something. I was so pissed off on my way out to work I locked the wheels of her stroller, knocked over her stupid Sippy cup and took her last diaper. The look on her face when I took the diaper was priceless. She immediately knew - she was totally screwed. I forgot I had it in my pocket and I took it to work. I arrived at the office in a haste and while reaching for my USB key I found it and just tossed it on the table with some other stuff that was in my pocket, thinking nothing of it. Shortly after, there was a knock on the door. It was time for my 9 o’clock meeting with some big shot editors who apparently came to discuss ways in which I could make my writing more family-friendly and less, well, less “offensive to so many people”, as they put it. I had told them to come in and sit down before noticing that there was a pink diaper with Barbie pictures all over it right on my desk beside my cup of morning whisky (oops!! I mean coffee), and there was a 12 pack of ribbed condoms right on top of it – it was in my pocket too when I reached for my USB key thingy. What can I say? I like to be prepared. 

My first thought was to immediately grab them both and toss them in a draw or under the table before starting the meeting but I did the wrong thing and hesitated to think a little bit first. And in that moment all our eyes met and we could all tell we were all wondering why the f* there was a f*cking diaper on the table with condoms, and a vibrating cock ring, and plenty lube. Oh wait, didn’t I mention those other items before? My bad. Yep, like I said before, I like to be prepared – don’t judge me, I bet you’ve got weird stuff in your pocket right now too. To cut a long story short we ended up doing the whole meeting without mentioning anything about the items on the table. They had a look on their faces like they could have really used an explanation by the end of the meeting but I didn’t know what to say so I said absolutely nothing. To be honest I really didn’t GAF but I felt like they really did so I wanted to help, I just couldn’t. When I was a newbie at SRL, eager to impress everyone, I probably would have come up with something clever or even witty to say, and it would have been amazing. But not nowadays, now that I’ve discovered it’s damn near impossible to impress anyone in the world. In fact I suspect it’s absolutely impossible. You try, and let me know how it goes. You’ll see. Do something really amazing and see how many dead faces you’re met with – everyone looks like Dua Lipa now. By the time people are nine years old nowadays they’ve seen the whole world, future technologies up to 50 years in advance, all history; they know everything about space, where to find Jesus, the best way not to get there, 50 ways to get away with sinning, how to never do homework, what your penis or vagina looks like, what it will look like 50 years from now, how to get rid of it if you don't want it, everything about sagging breasts, how to milk a cow without getting twice more aroused than you would normally get while squeezing breasts (since there are 4, not just 2), how to reach the sun without getting sunburn (by going at night obviously), how to make money without doing anything, how to get higher than you've ever been your entire life, how to drink without driving (Uber obviously), how to eat p*ssy till you burp… the list goes on. So forget about it, that’s what I’ve done and it’s working pretty well for me. My philosophy now is “if you think I’m sh*t, that’s your business – I’ll make my best poopoo every time and serve it to you with a smile”. I’m starting to suspect the only way left to impress anyone now is to literally blow yourself up live on TikTok while everyone is dancing. Surely that should get a few reactions – but no facial expressions, reverence or respect; just maybe a few mutual nods with pressed lips. I felt like I should tell you that so you know I didn’t even try while being so amazing throughout the course of this article. I can tell you’re loving it, and it gets better. 

When SRL approached me and offered me this awesome job my first reaction was: “You want ME to work for YOU? Do you really know what you’re asking? Or is this just another one of those scenarios where at the end of it all I tell myself God must be playing a trick on me again?”

I mean SRL is a pretty huge deal but I’m me, I’m not one of those guys who just wakes up early in the morning and turns up to work EVERY SINGLE DAY like I’ve got nothing else to do. To be honest with you I don’t even know why I came in today. I was f*cking, and then I decided to take a walk and have a cigarette, and then one thing led to another and I’m here now. So I thought, “what the heck, they’ve been asking me to review a song from this big ass pile of CDs and tapes, why not!”. So here it goes… 

And by the way, this is not gonna be one of those music reviews where I tell you how amazing the song is, give you all the producer and songwriter credits, tell you all the chords that were played and analyse every single one of them; and then you hit play and you f* off – I’m not a prostitute m-kay? We’re gonna discuss it, have a conversation, have a few laughs here and there, and then see where it goes from there. There isn’t gonna be any “wham bam thank you mam” sort of scenario here like all those other desperate music blogs that beg you to listen and share and then ask you to buy them a cup of coffee after. When you’re f*cking with me, you’re f*cking with the best! (“Scarface voice”) M-kay? This is more than just another music review. In fact if you make it to the end of this article I bet you your life would have changed. And then, you’ll hit the play button, and be totally blown away by the amazing record we’re about to talk about. 

I feel like I’ve given away too much already. I’ve already told you it’s amazing so many times. So now, I’m going to try to make you forget, so that it’s a mindboggling surprise when you hit the play button – like when you’re on a date with someone spectacular, and after nearly an hour of the best soul gazing, drinking, mind fucking and mental undressing you’ve ever done – you realize she was planning to come home with you THE ENTIRE TIME, AND she wasn’t even wearing any underwear...

So let’s get to forgetting now, shall we? Forgetting is a really important part of life. You'll practice it today, right here right now. Once you've learned the art of forgetting, you'll be really awesome and be able to forget anything or anyone unpleasant and focus and be your best self every single time, kind of like me but not as awesome - this here takes practise and persistence, m-kay? Baby steps..  

Have you ever looked at the McDonald’s sign upside down and wondered how no one else ever discovered it was just a pair of really perfect boobies upside down?

I know right? I guess now you know why you can’t say no every time you see the sign – regardless of whether you’re on a diet, it’s lent or even Good Friday, you’ve got high cholesterol, or whatever. You’re not after the Big Mac, you want boobies, upside down, like the ones you see when you're on holiday; everyone does. Okay that one was too easy, let’s go deeper. 

To be honest with you, I haven’t got any deeper – that’s all I’ve got. Honesty is my weakness, and it gets me every time. People say silly stuff like “just be yourself” and “we’re not here to judge anybody”, and my favourite, “the truth will set you free”, but nobody is ever impressed when I tell them how I really feel. In fact, remember what I told you I was doing before I decided to come to work? Of course you don't. See? you're already forgetting stuff, it's working – I said I was f*cking. But didn’t you even bother to ask yourself why anyone in their right mind would suddenly dismount, put their clothes back on and bow out  gracefully to take a walk? Absolutely insane wouldn’t you say? Well, let me explain.

A couple of days ago, me and my girlfriend went a little too far in a role playing scenario and had a little accident. To cut a long story short, she ended up in the emergency room and is kind of sort of partially sighted, but the doctor said it should clear up in a few days. He advised that we should try to keep our hands off each other for a while to avoid any complications but we couldn’t – she’s so amazing, and I’m sure I’m irresistible too. We were role playing again this morning. She was Mary Magdalene, and I was Jesus – trying to rid her of her seven notorious demons by severe spanking. It was so amazing. Everything was going smoothly and then she went and called out another man’s name right in the middle of it all. Her exact words were: “deeper, oh god!!!”. I said: “what??!” I was so steamed I didn't even take off the robe and sandals, I just left. People must have thought I was Kanye West when I walked into the office. It was so weird, but whatever. 

I was so steamed before I left her house that I felt like I had to make a statement before leaving. She couldn’t understand what she had done wrong so she followed me to the living room and tried to talk things out. Since she couldn’t see, and since I was overcome with so much anger, I wanted to do something that would really hurt her feelings the way she had hurt mine. So I… I... I kind of sort of, em… 

I "blew my own trumpet" and finished in her fish bowl. Then I sat on the couch and watched the fish eat it. She hadn’t got a clue what was going on but before I got up and slammed the door I heard her say “what’s that smell?”. I’m never calling that b*tch again. What kind of psycho b*tch calls out their boyfriend’s dad’s name in the middle of sex? WTF right?

So how was that? Have you forgotten what I said you were supposed to forget? You have, haven’t you? Damn I’m good!

Okay let’s go.

Now, this is one of those songs that’ll take you by surprise like an apple hitting you on the head under an apple tree on a fine sunny afternoon while you're thinking – you’ll totally not be expecting to hear anything like this but it will power up a light bulb in your head and give you ideas and make you realise what you've been missing.  Nope, you won't hear anything like this in this era of music. This strange era of music when you can have 50 million songs in your pocket and still be totally bored. Can you believe that sh*t? Spotify ruined everything! I keep telling everyone but nobody believes me. And you know how they can fix it? Just put back the f*cking “stop” button already. Certain things are there for a purpose. And just because you can remove them doesn’t mean you should – like: what if Marilyn Monroe had removed her mole? Or, what if Michael Jackson had NOT removed his big ass nose, he-he-he. To be honest, I totally loved that nose, it was perfectly fine – a little oily, but nothing a little cocaine wouldn’t take care of. Oops!! I meant powder. Let’s move on quickly. Where were we? Ah yes, the stop button.

There are certain things in life that make me know when the end of an activity has been reached. Like cumming – it lets me know when I’m done f*cking. And cigarette butts (or, err em, roaches), to let me know when I’m done smoking. And candlestick telephones to let me know when I’m done talking to people who are not there – instead of having them secretly follow me around in my pocket on Twitter and Facebook. And ignition keys so I can tell my car when I’m done driving – push start is cool too but still a little annoying, I want to take the key OUT. And disposable energiser batteries so I can figure out when my girlfriend is never gonna cum, that b*tch! F*ck recharging. I think you get the point anyway, everything needs a stop button or a finish line. So let’s start a petition now to get our musical lives back in order – we need a stop button Spotify! What do we want? Stop button. When do we want it? NOW!

Wait, where were we again?

Ah yes, you totally won’t be expecting to hear this type of song, but when you hit that play button and the sound hits you you’re gonna feel like Michael Jackson right before he grabs his crotch and slaps it really hard – “HEEEEEEE-HEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" 

It’s not a pop song but it’s one of those songs that has something relatable in it for everyone. I had to go way way back in the Skunk Radio Live archives for this one and you’ll thank me for it. If you don’t know already, Yung Rackz is Winston Salem, North Carolina, USA’s next big hip hop star and he’s doing really spectacular things right now in the music industry. I wanted to take you way back in time to the song that put his name on the map – the song that made his career what it is today. 

“Back In The Day” is a hip hop record about trials and tribulations. It's reminiscent of “Juicy” by the late great Notorious B.I.G, but it’s spectacular in its own way. I like to refer to it as a "Juicy" for anyone who has never owned a CD player. It's the second of two songs on the critically acclaimed debut EP “I’m 2 Much” which was originally released back in 2012/13 but later re-released around about 2021. It’s got a very sweet nostalgic vibe and a juicy beat that will carry you away into a world of your own where everything is possible if you just keep on pushing on. It’s motivational, inspirational, lyrically masterful and impactful. To be honest with you I don’t think I’ve heard a hip hop record this good since Guru’s “You Know My Steez”. If you haven’t heard “You Know My Steez” by Guru… Em… I really don’t know what to say to you. In fact I’m tempted to tell you to go away, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and just assume you’ve heard it but you just don’t know the title or who sang it. Listen to it here. It should pop up in a new window so just close it when you’re are done and then scroll down a little bit and hit the play button in the Spotify music player below to listen to this amazing Yung Rackz record I’ve been trying to tell you about. It’s an oldie but a goodie, and if you are a hip hop music fan who knows anything about hip hop then you’ll probably know instantly that it belongs in every single one of your hip hop music playlists on Spotify, Apple Music or whatever music streaming platform you use to destroy the music industry. Oops!! I meant "discover new artists and explore your favourite genres of music". Like I said before, you won’t hear a record like this anywhere else today, so make sure you share it - let’s make it go viral. 

Wait, wait, wait… My girlfriend just texted me and said her fish had twins. WTF! I’ve got to go, this is BS. I know she’s f*cking with me. I knew she could see all this time. She’s just been making me do all her typing and make her breakfast every morning, and do her daughter's maths homework, and wash her dirty underwear by hand. Oops!! I’ve said too much. Hope you enjoy the track, see you tomorrow.

Explicit.

Music Review: The B Side by Daiyon - Hip Hop - Wisconsin, USA | Music Discovery XO

MUSIC

HIP HOP REVIEWS

30-08-2022 18:47 GMT

Music by indie artist, Daiyon on YouTube |

Daiyon

"The B Side"
Hip Hop


🤯 God must be playing a trick on me!!! 😕

You can always tell when people look in the mirror way too much, and that they love what they see every single time - in a really weird, vain, almost unnatural way. Like they think to themselves: “good god, my eyes are dazzling AF; or “damn I’ve got such an amazing smile, who wouldn’t love me?”; or “you think my cheeks are rosy, wait till you see my other cheeks; and be sure to plant your lips on them at least once while you are back there will ya?”; or “man I look like Jesus, I’m even a pretty decent guy who likes hookers too. I too even wear dirty women’s night gowns to night clubs sometimes like Kanye West – man I’m so cool”; or “I wonder if they notice how much I look like a new and improved Marilyn Monroe”; or “man! I look so mysterious and deep, good god I’m handsome”; or “look at my smile, so soft and gentle; love me, love me, love me, please”. I’m sure you are thinking to yourself, those seemed awfully specific right? And you’re totally right. Now try not to label me a total asshole when I tell you who those people are, and bear in mind that those things that were written were just the products of a comedic mind casually strutting its stuff to see if it’s still got it – it does by the way, if I may say so myself. And bear in mind, I don’t think it’s bad to look in the mirror, in fact it’s really good for you. I however try to do it only twice a day – once in the morning when I wake up and again at night right before I turn on the red light in the master bedroom and things get, err, a little too freaky to discuss here (wink, wink). Let’s talk about it on Twitter before Jeff Bezos pulls out 😊 – did you get that? Pulls out? He-he-he. If you ask me, I think the deal was the equivalent of a sizable object in an unsuspecting butt hole, but what do I know about business and finance, and who cares what I think, right? And by the way I plant a big wet kiss on my lips every time I look in the mirror, I don't just do it for fun or to see if I'm still hot 😀. 

Anyway, where were we? Ah yes, those statements that I came up with; to describe 7 different individuals who, for comedy’s sake I assumed look in the mirror too often, and more than 5 times a day in fact – I’m not saying they do and I don't know these guys personally, let’s just have fun with it okay? I read an article on Music Week a while back and the headline was “Universal Music Australia unveils senior execs as John O’Donnell confirms retirement”. I’m sure you can easily highlight the headline and find the article on Google, but to make things easier for you I’ve added a link to the title that opens in a new window, again for your convenience, ‘cos you are so special. I wouldn’t even fart while writing this if I had to, in order not to cause your awesome vibes to shift even the slightest bit in any direction whatsoever, whether you like smelling peoples’ farts or not (I’m sure you don’t obviously, you’re not weird at all) - that’s how awesome I think you are. Can you match any of those faces to any of the statements I mentioned above? Who do you think has the really big, rosy cheeks and wants you to plant your lips on them? He-he-he. Tweet me on Twitter (@skunkradiolive) and I might tell you which one belongs to which one so you can have one of those tinnie winnie wins that are all the makings of a really good day. 

Anyway, let’s get right down to this song. I'm totally certain that you’d really want to plant your lips on it when it’s done playing. But don’t kiss your phone screen, it’s full of germs. Wipe it with an antibacterial wipe first and then once again after like they do in church when they kiss the crucifix on Good Friday; then get your friend to kiss it too. By the way, if you were Catholic, what part of the cross would you kiss? 🤔. Again, you can tweet me @SkunkRadioLive.

This is one of those records that gives ten times as much as it takes from you in minutes and seconds. In fact it even saves you time by telling you exactly what song to play next or add next to your playlist – it. Yep, this is another one of those songs that has no chaser, anything that comes after it will be shite! as far as you’re concerned. To be honest, I’ve got it on repeat now and I really don’t know where to go from here, except to stop the music player. But wait YouTube has no stop button, and neither does Spotify. Aaaarghhh!!!! I’m totally losing it now?! 

Wait… (“deep breaths, deep breaths”).

Okay I’m good now. (“Phew”).

See? That’s what this song will totally do to you. Consider that your first warning. The second warning I’ll give you is that the instant you hit the play button, YouTube will totally change it’s attitude towards you and create a new mental picture of you, a new improved one. Kind of like moving someone from one of the boxes in your head where you put people based on their character traits, behaviours, what they smoke, how ambitious they are, how serious they are, how hot (or not) they are, how big their willies (oops!! wallets are or could potentially be), or other criteria. Wait, am I the only one who does that? Is that wrong? I hate that I just told you that. Sh!! Don’t tell anyone okay? Would you like to know what box you are in inside my head right now? Of course you do – you are in the "Box 47". Trust me that’s the coolest box, it means I totally don't hate you and we could be friends some day. But don't ever try to kiss me okay? I totally hate that. 

But back to the song… my only advise for you as you make this journey to becoming a seasoned, highly sophisticated, professional hip hop fan is buckle up. If you smoke, roll one of those giant ones Snoop and Eminem shared at the VMAs 😊, but make sure you don’t finish it all in one go. Alright, hit the play button. 

Have a wonderful day. ✌

Explicit.

Invincible

MUSIC

HIP HOP REVIEWS

06-04-2022 04:12 GMT

Music by indie artist, Chingy on Apple Music | Spotify

Chingy

"Invincible"
Hip Hop


Positive vibes

… so two guys walk into a bar, right? One of them says to the other, “I’m not wearing anything under this trench coat”, with a big smile on his face as if expecting some sort of approval or praise. The other guy walks out of the bar with a straight face and doesn’t look back.

That’s it. 

You were expecting a punchline weren’t you? He-he-he. There’s none. 

Here at the SRL writers room we quite enjoy painfully unfunny jokes - it's an acquired taste, don't worry, you're not there yet. You’ll read a lot of them here, they’re hilarious 😊. They always come with a subtle message though, and some food for thought. So don’t worry, this is not one of those places that you can guarantee would be an utter waste of your time every single time. Sure, you’ll always leave with an AMAZING track to bring your awful, braindead Spotify playlists to life, but we want our readers to leave with more than just amazing songs and albums - we want to add value to their lives as well. That’s not to say we succeed, but we try – and trying is everything. As the old Snoop Dogg saying goes, “Ain’t nothing to it but to do it”, or something like that. In other words, whatever you want to do, no matter how farfetched it may seem, just do it - and that’s exactly what we do. The moral of that very unfunny story was that if you are uncomfortable with anything at all you shouldn’t be afraid to get up and leave IMMEDIATELY. Your mind and body are telling you something whenever you start to feel uncomfortable about a situation. They’re telling you that you either don’t agree with what’s happening or that what’s about to happen is too unpredictable for comfort. With that being said, I’d like to gently remind you that things could get uncomfortable really fast here at the Skunk Radio Live writers room. We don’t hold back anything but we generally mean no harm when we write. We don’t like politics and we don’t discuss it. In fact, throughout the time he was president of the United States, we only referred to him as Ronald Plump, you know who we’re talking about right? And nowadays if we ever talk about the recent conflicts in Europe, we might use words like Lootin’ or Poopin’, or whatever rhymes at the time – again, we mean no harm, just trying to avoid talking about politics and calling politicians' names. Not saying anyone is looting or is acting like a poopoo head.

Gladly, this song is not about politics, it makes no attempt to label anyone a poopoo head and it’s most certainly not about ill-gotten gains – like most mainstream hip hop records tend to be nowadays right?

St. Louis rapper Chingy is slowly but surely clawing his way back to the top after falling from grace and staying out of the limelight for a while a few years back. Each of his new records shows immense growth and development stylistically and artistically as he takes his signature nursery rhyme rap style and rebuilds it from the ground up, keeping all the amazing things fans fell in love with about the multiplatinum, award-winning hip hop star, who has sold over 20 million hard copies worldwide, something most new artists today will sadly never be able to claim they did ever again in the history of the music industry – and no, not even Kanye West. At $200 a piece, 20 million seems very farfetched to even think of, and the whole "Donda 2" (or whatever it's called) move in general seems like a billionaire’s desperate attempt to stay afloat in the middle of a pandemic and a global financial crisis. But what do we know, we’re not accountants and plus, it took many of us here years of brain fatigue from listening to the relentless ads of Spotify’s free service before finally giving up and signing up for PRO. It wasn’t about the money, it was about the principle. Spotify’s business model devalued the music industry and made every existing song and every song that will be created in perpetuity a worthless piece of you know what, essentially. Nowadays, a song is no longer what makes money for the musicians that spent countless hours, days, months and even years making them. It’s what is done with the records and the publicity that results that makes the money. So it’s no surprise a lot of music sucks these days, morale is low in the industry and musicians are spending a lot more time trying to figure out how to make a living in the industry than how to make a good record – who can blame them right?

But anyway, where were we? Ah yes, Chingy’s amazing new record, which has, not only got fans and critics raving again; but is also doing well to raise the morale of die-hard rap fans whose souls are dying really slowly from records where all the praise should really go to the producers rather than the artists. Yes, a good hip hop beat will blow your socks off quicker wasabi, but no one wants to hear what is increasingly seeming like the same lyrics of the last song they heard re-arranged into a different order and performed in a different style and tempo. 

This song is different. Chingy is from the old school era of music when artistic integrity and lyrical prowess mattered whether you were making hip hop, rock or even electronica; and consequently, the track reeks of the results of hours of writing and re-writing, and several takes of vocal recording; not like new records that sound like they were done in one take most of the time. If you strip a hip hop record of all the guns and violence, take away all the showering of champagnes and other yellowish liquids on girls at pool parties; and all the fingers and other things out of the poor ladies' butt holes; and all the mindless but ever so exciting stuff rappers are polluting our minds with, but we apparently love so much as far as the music industry is concerned; this is what you get – positive rap music about love, good vibes, family, friends and being amazing just being ones self. Phew! finally, something positive right? 

Enjoy! 

Thank me later with a big ass box of chocolates and some beef jerky, it’s almost 4:20 AM 😊. 

JK, chocolates are so gay. 

Explicit.

When did men start slapping each other like b*tches?

MUSIC

HIP HOP REVIEWS

30-03-2022 02:56 GMT

Music by indie artist, Six9 on YouTube | Spotify

Six9

"Bounce Back"
Hip Hop


I still can't believe my ears

When did men start slapping each other like b*tches? When I saw Will Smith slap Chris Rock at the Oscars the other day over a little joke I was totally disgusted. And not for the silly reasons that are splattered all over social media and even the mainstream media, but for 2 simple reasons. 

I’m generally not excited or even the slightest bit moved when celebrities do stuff normal people like us don’t understand because I’m too busy doing other stuff that is a lot more important to me. Who cares what the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air did at the Oscars? I don't know what it's like to be a prince, or to live in Bel-Air. I wasn’t even invited, those bastards! He-he-he. JK. If I was invited I probably wouldn’t even have showed up. Too busy to sit around celebrating myself, or even worse, other peoples’ achievements in the middle of a pandemic and a looming global recession; AND gathering items for my emergency evacuation bag for when Lootin' (you know who I mean) unleashes those nuclear weapons he's been quietly dropping hints about. Is that weird? Do I sound like a hater right now? I know you nodded. Well KMA then. JK of course. My point there was that when what people say or think about you somehow manages to get to you, you’ll find yourself doing stupid sh*t like hitting people like a b*tch on live television – men don’t slap each other when they get pissed off, they throw a Mike Tyson punch and make sure you never get up. I mean, if I was going to walk out in front of all my peers and hit someone on international television in front of the whole world, my wife AND my kids, I’d want the whole show to stop; not go on like nothing happened. That was the most pathetic slap I’ve ever seen, SMH. And he wonders why reporters try to kiss him, he-he-he - maybe it’s because they are hoping he’ll rub his palm softly against their cheeks and walk off like he really did something, LOL. The only other thing I’ll say about this matter is a very touchy subject and I probably shouldn’t say it but I was hurt to see a 53 year old man assault a 57 year old man while he was just doing his job, that sh*t just doesn’t sit well with me. I’m not saying Will was wrong for getting mad, we all get mad and we all have a right to do so, whether people understand why or not. Just the other day my blood boiled violently when a waiter called me by my name at a dinner reservation. And why, you may ask? BECASUE I HATE WHEN PEOPLE CALL MY NAME OKAY?!! What’s with the third-degree damn it? See, I even almost got pissed off there, phew! 

("Deep breaths") ...

During these unprecedented times, everyone’s a little touchy but nevertheless everyone is entitled to their moments. How they handle those moments is what makes them unique. The thing I was really scratching my head about, and this is not an insult; is that rapper August Alsina “dated” the hell out of Jane (oops! Jada 😀) for four and a half whole years with Will’s knowledge and he was totally fine with that, but he couldn’t take a little joke? And you know how rappers “date” women, rappers are ruff! (oops! rough). You give your wife to one of these new rappers for one night she'll never be the same again - inside and outside, not to talk of four years, phew! That’s what really had me messed up, I don’t care if he got mad and if he was still allowed to receive an award and then was subsequently given a standing ovulation; that's Hollywood stuff. See what I did there? "A standing ovulation" - because he hits like a b*tch, get it? I’ve said all I have to say about that. I wasn’t even going to say anything about it but everyone’s talking about it so whatever. 

Now that that crap is out of the way, let’s get right down to this song that I was about to tell you about. To be honest with you the reason I brought up the subject of Will slapping Chris was that the whole incident seemed so unmanly to me (almost "happy" if you know what I mean); kind of like what a lot of mainstream hip hop records are starting to sound to me nowadays. Everyone’s grinning and singing songs about eating each others' asses. I’m old school, I totally don’t understand it. This song restored some normality to my music collection and my life as a whole. To be honest with you I was supposed to have reviewed it years ago but I was being very selfish 😁. Have you ever discovered something so amazing you didn’t want anyone else to have it? Well, that’s exactly what happened to me here. And when you hear it you’d probably not want to share it with anyone else either. 

The track was so good that it deserved a playlist of its own. I put it on repeat and didn’t listen to anything else while I tried to think of an artist or a song that I could chase it with without losing the amazing feeling it evoked in my soul. The only track I found that could chase it was another track by the same artist Six9. No, not the snitch Six9ine with the colorful teeth and multicolored hair, the real Six9 – and there you were thinking you knew everything there was to know in hip hop, SMH. I’m being selfish with that track that I chased it with as well but I might share it with you a little bit later. I'll also share the playlist I'm creating around it once it's done. 

”Bounce Back” is a motivational record. If you have fallen on hard times and are struggling to get back up, it will get you off your ass and keep you on your feet till you are back in the game and at your best once again. If you are already at your best, it will motivate you to keep pushing the limits harder and harder everyday till your Jesus piece drops its jaw. Forget about every motivational hip hop track you’ve heard over the past decade, they’re all trash – that’s all I’m saying. If I’m wrong, recreate one of the millions of Will Smith slapping Chris Rock memes that are probably surfacing by the second on TikTok as we speak; and walk up to my office at London Bridge and slap me ever so softly. I’ll play along and make a little joke about it then go back to doing my work like nothing happened 😂. 

Oh I forgot to tell you – the minute you hit the play button the lyrics of this record could become deeply embedded in your brain for days, if not weeks. That's what happened to me. I almost lost it, but then I found my Jack Daniel's, phew! I’m still totally sedated right now, can you tell? 

Explicit.

A Little Bit Above Low Key

MUSIC

HIP HOP REVIEWS

16-02-2022 03:18 GMT

Music by indie artist, Eyenine on Spotify | Apple Music

Eyenine

"A Little Bit Avove Low Key"
Hip Hop


Stimulate your intelligence

Not for the shallow-minded, to be honest

Telepathic grenade

The title of this album is so much of an understatement that if it was understated anymore it would have no title at all. Eyenine has always been a very down to earth and focused individual from the very beginning, so this is not unexpected. 

It’s not uncommon for people to sometimes downplay their best works in case it’s not good enough for whoever’s judging – in fact everyone’s doing it nowadays, and shamelessly even. Rappers are surfacing left right and center with names like Shitbag and Poopoohead, and tattoos on their faces that make Mike Tyson look like a pretty boy. That's definitely not what was happening here with the title though - guess you really shouldn't judge an album by its cover after all - silly me. But if this was an attempt to downplay the album in case it wasn’t good enough, it certainly failed - it was amazing! Nowadays people seem more excited about junk than anything else. It seems like it has become more fun than ever before to laugh at something bad than it is to appreciate something that's as close to perfect as is humanly possible, he-he-he. Think about it - if Mr. Bean ran for president against whoever your favorite politician is, wouldn't a small part of you be itching to vote for Bean? 

People walk into the most expensive stores nowadays and emerge with clothes that a person from the dirtiest slums would in previous years have been ashamed to wear, and jeans so tight you may have an orgasm if you walk too fast for too long. How long will it be before fashion designers start selling deodorants, perfumes and colognes that smell like filthy sweat and body odour? Remember how you smelled when your body was going through all those embarrassing changes and no deodorant was strong enough? He-he-he. Just wait and see. Look out in your favourite stores for "B.O" pour Homme, by Kanye West obviously - and “Hoochie Coochie” for the ladies. But why even stop there? How about underwear with doodoo stains ey? Why not go all out. 

But where were we? See how we drifted off? That’s the sort of casual feel you get when you first start to listen to this album, and then it takes you deeper and deeper into your mind till you start to feel like you are not alone even when no one is around you. Just take a closer look at the album cover and you’ll know that what you are about to listen to is the product of a really exciting and intelligent mind. Unlike the title suggests, it will take you on an adventure to a place so far away from your mediocre music library that the next time you open Spotify you won’t even hit the play button. This isn’t one of those “fuck you” albums dedicated to everybody who's hating; or one of those albums you listen to while you're thinking about devouring Kim Kardashian's bits or doing  whatever you kids are doing these days in the back of your Maybachs and Bentleys, and your 10 bedroom multi-million dollar mansions, and your helicopters. This is a sophisticated hip hop masterpiece that is best suited for the most pensive of moments. It’s packed with exciting skits that make it feel like a movie. After the first 3 or 4 tracks, you’ll start to feel like your brain is being permeated by intelligence. 10 tracks, 31 minutes and 5 seconds later, when you open your eyes, and realize they’d been open all along; you’ll feel like you know stuff. 

 Sadly none of your playlists is good enough for this album, just create a new one and name it something really smart. 

Enjoy. 

Explicit.