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For sinners



24-03-2022 02:31 GMT

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Music by indie artist, Elliott Waits For No One on Apple Music | Spotify

Elliott Waits For No One

"Original Sin"
Alternative Rock

Did anyone else in the world find it strange or at least too much of a coincidence that Obama killed Osama? And not only that the names were so similar but that the very letters that made their names different were B and S? Was it all BS? Did they know each other? Was Obama Osama? Is anything even real? No one knows anything anymore. 

Is it weird that the world is round and yet people on the underside of the planet don't have all the blood in their bodies rushing to their brains because they are essentially upside down? And how come everything in their houses are not on the ceiling? And don’t say because of gravity, that’s totally insane. Can anyone even get an erection under those conditions? Or could that be where the abstruse idea of soft dildos came from? I mean who says to themselves day and night that, and I quote, “a hard man is so good to find”, and then goes out and buys a soft dildo? Only someone from a land of soft willies, wouldn’t you say? And wait, if those people are upside down, shouldn’t their clocks be going backwards? You know, like in a mirror? 

If sex, money, drugs and everything that’s amazing is on God’s list of don’ts, doesn’t it mean most humans, contrary to what they say, would rather go to Hell? I mean think about it – everybody sober-facing each other day and night in Heaven, no cursing - even if you stub your small toe, no new booty (will we even be allowed to have sex?), no getting high, no binging on potato chips, drinking only enough wine to be almost tipsy, eating bread and fish every day; and last but not least but worst of all – if Hell is hot and Heaven is the opposite of Hell, does that mean it’s winter in Heaven all year round? "Aww, Hell no!!", I hear you say, and rightfully so.  Which leads to the main question that has really been bugging me lately - did Eve have an apple bottom? Is that why we are all stuck here in this crazy mess? Because Adam was a filthy, filthy boy and ate the booty? Think about it. Adam’s snake, the apple, the eating, everyone was naked – seems like a recipe for sexy time if you ask me. 

“So why all these crazy thoughts, and where is this all going?”, I hear you think to yourself. Well, I was just listening to this really cool track that opened up my mind quicker than a bag of super skunk (not that I’ve smoked it before, that’s just what I've heard, “wink, wink”). I didn’t want you to get into it thinking it was great so I decided to just take you to a special place in your mind first, and I can tell you are there now. Don’t ask how I know, I just know. I can also tell you have a really big bush. Just kidding. But it kind of sort of feels like you do now that I think about it (he-he-he). Don’t worry, let that be our little secret - no one’s judging you here. But it's 2022 for God’s sake! If you do have one, get rid of it immediately and don’t do it again. 

Okay so let’s get into this song, you’re definitely ready. “Original Sin” sits in position number 5 of Chicago alternative rock trio Elliott Waits For No One’s critically acclaimed self-titled summer 2020 album “Elliott Waits For No One”. Having excelled individually on their respective local music scenes for several years before forming the group, it was an album that brought a lot of big sounds together and merged them so skillfully that it was hard for it not to be a masterpiece. It took critics and fans alike aback and many of the tracks on the independently released record are still winning awards till today, over 2 years after its release. “Original Sin” initially stood out to me because of the title but when I finally got to listen to it I was hooked. It's mellow, melancholic and just almost pensive. It burns really slow and it’s almost as if it takes your hand and walks you to a serene place where you just want nothing more than to be. That’s all I’m saying about it. Saying anymore about it would be like trying to explain why a McDonald’s Big Mac is one of the best burgers you’ll ever eat on earth – no one really knows why, it’s just amazing. 

And remember this: just because something’s right there in front of you doesn’t mean it’s there for you. Don’t worry, you’ll know what to do with that information when the time is right. If you don’t and it keeps you up all night, write me a letter and I’ll be sure to write you back. 

That's all for now. 

Hugs and kisses, 
 Me Who 
(I’m not Chinese, don't ask 😊)

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