MUSIC
ELECTRONIC REVIEWS
13-03-2023 20:03 GMT
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| Music by indie artist, The Watermark High on | |
The Watermark High
"Feel The Flow"
Electronic
Slow thy roll.
This album should slow your brain down in all the right places if used correctly. So really Feel it, and LOVE IT.
The SRL writers room has become really competitive over the past few months. Since we are no longer allowed to include our author names or pen names, writers can only stand out by their writing styles and the contexts of their writings. There are three big topics guaranteed to get the most readers online if you are a writer, or even if you make videos, songs, or anything else. This is really serious marketing stuff I’m about to tell you so pay attention and make sure you don’t tell anyone else okay? Three big subject matters that are guaranteed to get anyone’s full attention on any given day or night, no matter the circumstance. In fact if you get up in the middle of any room at any time and just scream out any of these words people will rush over to you immediately and they'll bring their check books (or start shaking their money makers spontaneously, whichever is appropriate for the environment and/or situation). The 3 big words are DOLLARS, JESUS and P*SSY. I don’t know what the right order should be so you can rearrange them yourself and write them down so you never forget okay?
Electronic
Slow thy roll.
This album should slow your brain down in all the right places if used correctly. So really Feel it, and LOVE IT.
The SRL writers room has become really competitive over the past few months. Since we are no longer allowed to include our author names or pen names, writers can only stand out by their writing styles and the contexts of their writings. There are three big topics guaranteed to get the most readers online if you are a writer, or even if you make videos, songs, or anything else. This is really serious marketing stuff I’m about to tell you so pay attention and make sure you don’t tell anyone else okay? Three big subject matters that are guaranteed to get anyone’s full attention on any given day or night, no matter the circumstance. In fact if you get up in the middle of any room at any time and just scream out any of these words people will rush over to you immediately and they'll bring their check books (or start shaking their money makers spontaneously, whichever is appropriate for the environment and/or situation). The 3 big words are DOLLARS, JESUS and P*SSY. I don’t know what the right order should be so you can rearrange them yourself and write them down so you never forget okay?
I’m sure you’re thinking “Well, why didn’t you replace the last word with the broader term SEX. That’s less explicit and should reach more people right?” No. And that’s why you’re not the marketing expert here. I am.
And again you might be thinking “Well, why didn’t you use the word GOD instead of JESUS, after all he’s the father right? And he is more powerful and more people know him hence he should have a bigger audience right?” Wrong! Again, who's the expert, you or me? I rest my case.
Lastly, I’m sure you’ll also be thinking to yourself “Okay surely you could have just said MONEY instead of DOLLARS right? That’s a no-brainer”. And once again you’d be absolutely wrong. Everyone loves Dollars, money is a dirty word.
To stand out in the SRL writers room my subject matter of choice was Jesus. Everyone totally hates me. And not because I’m a goodie-goodie but rather the opposite – I’m not a role model AT ALL, I’m shite! I’m one of those people that’ll tell you odd things you’d never expect to hear coming out of a lady's mouth plainly and directly for the sheer purpose of letting you know you I don't f* around, I don't play games and IDGA-F! (In my Bishop from "Juice" voice, he-he-he).
I was hanging out with one of my “buddies” watching Netflix the other day (wink, wink, wink) and he casually placed his wallet on the coffee table and proceeded to crack open a can of beer or white wine or whatever we were drinking - I can’t remember, it’s all a blur now. I stopped him immediately and warned him, “Don’t do that" while waving my index finger at him side to side like he was a little kid who was being naughty. He said "What?" And I replied "I'd totally steal your credit card and buy a year’s worth of tampons if you put your wallet on the table and get drunk”. He claimed it was the weirdest thing he had ever heard, but his response was even weirder. He turned his head to the side looking confused like Nicki Minaj, as if he was thinking and said “What?! … tampons??”. I said “Yes, I don’t do crack, what else would I buy? Just don't do it okay?”
To cut a long story short he’s not my boyfriend and I’m still looking. I totally screwed up the relationship right there and everything had been going really well. But that’s just me. It’s not like I would ever take money out of anyone’s wallet but I hate people doing stupid sh*t around me. Who the f* leaves their wallet on the table in the middle of a drink session? That’s like stopping to moon the cows in the middle of a bull run and wondering what could possibly go wrong. I know, Ouch! Right? Yikes.
So there you have it: JESUS, P*SSY and MONEY. Let’s put it in that order, it sounds so much cooler. Make sure you use one of those the next time you need to get some attention.
I know you’re wondering why I just told you that. WTF right? And I’ll tell you why: to get your attention. Du-uh!? I’ve just presented you with 3 of the most powerful words on the internet right now on at least 3 different occasions, I KNOW I’ve got your full attention – damn I’m good. I told you I was a marketing expert didn't I?
I know you’re wondering why I just told you that. WTF right? And I’ll tell you why: to get your attention. Du-uh!? I’ve just presented you with 3 of the most powerful words on the internet right now on at least 3 different occasions, I KNOW I’ve got your full attention – damn I’m good. I told you I was a marketing expert didn't I?
The reason I emphasised the fact that you can't just replace any of those 3 words with related words willy-nilly is that the most important characteristic of a good prayer is that it is specific. Stop asking Jesus to make your whole life better, that's not specific at all. What exactly do you want to change? Not when. Not How. Not why. Just what. Stop asking for more money, or some money, or enough money, or my favourite one to laugh at: to be comfortable - are you asking for a new sofa? No, you want Dollars! So say it! Say exactly how much you want in Dollars because everyone love Dollars. Pick a number, and stick with it. And don't be ashamed to ask Jesus for money, everybody's doing it - everybody needs money, it's not just you. Another key ingredient is that it is short and simple. Don't explain it, nobody cares. What's the most important prayer in the Bible? "Let There Be Light" right? Four words. Think about your prayers and examine them. You've been doing it wrong haven't you? He-he-he. Okay I'll give you one more tip and then that's it. And I'm giving you these tips simply because I've told you I'll be talking about Jesus a lot when I write and for no other reason okay? Don't assume stuff. Don't invite me to your church or quote Bible passages to me, that'll total f* the little relationship we are cultivating here up. The last tip is: quit asking for sh*t. Demand it like it's your already. Abundance is your divine right, you want everything you want because it's yours already. Jesus didn't say "Dear God, please give us a little bit of light so we can see boobies", or whatever he wanted to see or wanted us all to see at the time, Camel Toes maybe? I honestly don't know, I'm just saying it was short. Wait, pause - did you get that? Camel Toes? Because they used a lot of Camels back then? Click here to get to the roots of that joke if you still don't understand it. It was one of the jokes that really made people start looking up to me here in the writers room instead of looking down at my big firm breastseses every chance they got - and yes, when they're this amazing they deserve double plurals, Kim Kardashian doesn't even have these. I kind of miss those days to be honest... Now where were we? Umn-hmnn, yes; Jesus didn't say, "Dear God, we can't see anything, give us a candle please". Four words and that's all it took. So there you have it. I'm assuming you are writing that down as well right? Be specific, short, and demand it! Now let's move on.
I’m about to hit you with an album that’ll have you more excited than two gays watching the Super Bowl on Sunday. When I say "hit you with it" I’m not saying it in the Ebonics sense, like I’m about to sell you some really good weed or something. I’m totally about to smack you with it. The album comes in both digital and physical formats so you know it MUST be good. It’s not one of those things you listen to on spotify that gets buried by 50 million songs an hour later never to be seen or heard again, in fact I hate that it’s on Spotify at all. When you hear it, you will hate that too – in fact, let’s start a petition in the comments section. I hate when an album is this good, to be honest. It makes me look bad if I don’t do it justice when I introduce it. You don’t understand. This album is hotter than bad breath, but in a good way. Okay no, scratch that. See? I'm getting it wrong already. Let’s just talk about it first and then we’ll get back to how hot it is later.
Released on the 10th of March, 2023, just over 3 days ago, “Feel The Flow” is a very short buy highly impactful and masterful EP by critically acclaimed electronic music producer, composer and music educator, The Watermark High, who has also released music under the name Kinoh from time to time in order to explore a different creative direction from what his fans are used to. Whether you are listening to Kinoh or The Watermark High, what you can expect is always the same: that by the end of it you would have had your mind boggled and your socks will be missing. If you like soothing sounds you are in the right place and I’m glad you are here because I love soothing sounds too. I’m so excited you’re here, you’ve got me tingling all over. Let’s hit the play button together and see where it goes. If you feel like we’re having a moment, kiss me. I’ll kiss back I promise. Have you hit the play button? Can you feel that? Nice isn’t it?
For anyone who is already accustomed with the sound of The Watermark High, this is a little different. It’s much more Hip Hop than electronic music but it's still a very healthy mix of the two. Don’t let the first song “Traveller” deceive you into believing you’re in for one of those musical journeys where the mood and tempo is the same all the way though, or else by the time you reach the fourth track you’ll feel like an unsuspecting teenage girl who decided to sit on top of the washing machine to chat while uncle was washing his delicates. You’ll open your eyes really wide suddenly at the climax (wider than Nicki Minaj when she looks like she's pooped by mistake while eating a banana really slowly), and you’ll never be the same again. Don’t judge me okay? I was like13 for God's sake, how was I to know? This brings back a lot of awkward memories ("sob"), in fact I think you should leave now. Just go, now, please. And as for that kiss, forget about it, the mood is totally gone now, I can't believe you made me remember that. "Sob, sob, sob, sob, sob"
Enjoy the album.
See you tomorrow.
Released on the 10th of March, 2023, just over 3 days ago, “Feel The Flow” is a very short buy highly impactful and masterful EP by critically acclaimed electronic music producer, composer and music educator, The Watermark High, who has also released music under the name Kinoh from time to time in order to explore a different creative direction from what his fans are used to. Whether you are listening to Kinoh or The Watermark High, what you can expect is always the same: that by the end of it you would have had your mind boggled and your socks will be missing. If you like soothing sounds you are in the right place and I’m glad you are here because I love soothing sounds too. I’m so excited you’re here, you’ve got me tingling all over. Let’s hit the play button together and see where it goes. If you feel like we’re having a moment, kiss me. I’ll kiss back I promise. Have you hit the play button? Can you feel that? Nice isn’t it?
For anyone who is already accustomed with the sound of The Watermark High, this is a little different. It’s much more Hip Hop than electronic music but it's still a very healthy mix of the two. Don’t let the first song “Traveller” deceive you into believing you’re in for one of those musical journeys where the mood and tempo is the same all the way though, or else by the time you reach the fourth track you’ll feel like an unsuspecting teenage girl who decided to sit on top of the washing machine to chat while uncle was washing his delicates. You’ll open your eyes really wide suddenly at the climax (wider than Nicki Minaj when she looks like she's pooped by mistake while eating a banana really slowly), and you’ll never be the same again. Don’t judge me okay? I was like13 for God's sake, how was I to know? This brings back a lot of awkward memories ("sob"), in fact I think you should leave now. Just go, now, please. And as for that kiss, forget about it, the mood is totally gone now, I can't believe you made me remember that. "Sob, sob, sob, sob, sob"
Enjoy the album.
See you tomorrow.
Oh and did I mention? It may also make you get extremely emotional.
