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Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in the SRL writers' room are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of SRL Networks, its artists or its members. Anonymity allows our writers to express themselves freely without fear of persecution or harassment. This usually means things could sometimes get a little racy, raunchy, filthy, controversial, disgusting, annoying, cringe-worthy, explicit or uncomfortable but don't worry, we'll try to limit our curse words to two per paragraph and we promise not to use dirty words like poo-poo and wee-wee, or show you videos of Miley Cyrus shaking her bottom really fast. Also, the females here may say dirty things sometimes but they're totally not sluts - so don't stand too close behind them in the elevator or look at their boobies for too long, they carry pepper spray. If anything you read here offends you in any way please don't take it personally, but let us know so we can give whoever wrote it a good spanking, tickle them with a pink feather till it hurts when they smile and make them watch MTV for one whole hour.

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Oasis Reunion 2025: The Definitive Story of Their Return to the Stage and What It Means for Music Fans Worldwide

Oasis Reunion 2025: The Definitive Story of Their Return to the Stage and What It Means for Music Fans Worldwide

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 Oasis Reunion 2025: The Definitive Story of Their Return to the Stage and What It Means for Music Fans Worldwide

The Oasis reunion is officially happening, and the world of music is buzzing with excitement. For years, fans have been asking, are Oasis getting back together? The answer, as confirmed by both Liam Gallagher and Noel Gallagher, is a resounding yes. As Glastonbury 2025 approaches, speculation has turned into certainty: Oasis will headline the festival, marking their first performance together since their split in 2009.

The journey to this reunion has been anything but straightforward. Oasis was formed in 1991 in Manchester, quickly rising to fame with their debut album Definitely Maybe in 1994. This album, released under Creation Records, was a phenomenon, instantly making Oasis one of the biggest bands in the UK. With hits like "Supersonic" and "Live Forever," Oasis captured the angst and aspirations of a generation.


Euphoria


MUSIC


HIP HOP REVIEWS


18-05-2024 16:38 GMT


Music Reviews (May 2024) - Discover the best emerging, underground & upcoming Hip Hop artists, bands & labels with reviews of the latest songs, albums & mixtapes, music videos, music playlists, live events/gigs, concerts/tours, & other entertainment from your favorite indie Hip Hop performers & entertainers daily on SRL Music Reviews.
Music by indie artist, Chingy on YouTube | Spotify


Chingy

"Nu Beginnings"
Hip Hop


Euphoria

I walked in on my boss shooting ping-pong balls out of her lady garden this morning. It was really awkward but she was very aloof about the whole thing. She said: “Ah it’s you, come on in and take a seat”. I entered cautiously, still trying to process what I had just seen or if I had in fact seen what I had just seen. There were ping-pong balls everywhere, so many; so I knew I wasn’t seeing things – I had definitely seen what I saw. 

I generally don’t talk to other human beings because I’m way too intelligent for them to understand the words that are coming out of my mouth most of the time. Not all the time, but most of the time. 100% of the time I totally understand what they are saying but 50% of the time it’s sh*te and 50% of the other 50% of the time it makes absolutely no sense to me - I understand what they are saying, but it’s totally nuts to me. And I’m not anti-social, I promise. Like I said before, I’m just really intelligent. 

If you think that’s the most annoying and arrogant thing you’ve ever heard a person say, you’d better stop reading now. That’s not the most arrogant thing I’ve ever said. In fact, I don’t think it’s arrogant at all and I think it's a little arrogant of you to think it's arrogant. I haven't always been like this, I’m not the same person I was when I started out as a writer. I’ve grown a lot and become a much better person. It's all thanks to my boss, the same lady who was shooting ping-pong balls out of her ... err ... her ... love tunnel. 

You see, when I first started out I hated Everything and Everybody. It was a very general hate, not necessarily directed at anything or anyone specific - everything was just sh*t as far as I was concerned, and everyone sucked. I was really focused but people always wanted to talk – often about nothing. Before long everyone in the office was talking behind my back. 

My boss called me into her office one day. I went in and sat on the chair that had been prepared for me, opposite her desk. Right in front of me on the desk, there was a calendar and a jar of milk, carefully arranged so that it was the only thing I could see. She kept on typing on her computer and let me stare at them for a while. I could tell she wasn’t actually typing anything because she was peeking at me the whole time with her lips pressed together and her glasses hanging at the tip of her nose. She looked as though my presence disgusted her. 

After a few minutes, she stopped typing and took off her glasses. And started to explain what I was looking at.  She said: “You see… milk is good ... but after a few days it must go bad. That doesn’t change the fact that it’s good. People may suck sometimes, but it doesn’t change the fact that they’re still good people deep down inside, whether they know it or not.”

I’m lactose intolerant so that was a really bad analogy for me. Just last week I almost strangled my intern for bringing me a latte. But I totally got what she was saying nevertheless. 

She went on to explain: “If your life sucks, and I know it does, now that you hate everything; have you ever wondered what it might be like if you flipped your attitude over on its head and approached things with love instead of resentment?” 

I replied stubbornly: “that would be absolutely insane, why would I do that? I would do no such thing, just tell them all to leave me the f*ck alone and stop talking to me". 

She stood up and sighed; frustrated and impatient. She walked over and gestured repeatedly while saying “stand up”. I stood up. I had never really noticed how much taller than me she was until then. I was eye to eye with her… em... her ... emm … bazookas (that’s her breasts). It was really uncomfortable because I was standing really close and trying not to look at them but they were pointing right at me. They were so perky and big. I suddenly got a whiff of baby powder and cigarettes; so I knew I was standing way too close. I got scared, as if she might have detected that I’d just accidentally sniffed her … em… her ... em … her fun sacks (that’s her breasts too). I quickly started to take a step backwards so I could look up at her face. All of a sudden she grabbed the back of my head and shoved my face right into her cleavage. I struggled frantically, I wasn’t sure what was happening, but after a few seconds my heart stopped racing and I realized nothing bad was actually happening, in fact it was all good. I’ve had many fantasies but I’ve never ever imagined anything that awesome. I relaxed completely. I felt like a baby again. There was a rapid influx of pleasant feelings into my entire body – love, peace, contentment, forgiveness, joy, thanksgiving, and a sense of release. I was relaxed, more relaxed than I had ever been my whole life. I guess her job was done - she let me go and pushed me away, saying: “You’d better not have enjoyed that. Now get out, I need a fag (that’s a cigarette - not a man 😊)”. I’ve never hated anyone since. 

Fast forward 10 months; and I’m like Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan with a pen and a pad. I hit you with a left, hit you with a right, hit you with an uppercut and by the end of it all there’s so much bodily fluids in the air you’d think you were at a baby shower (that’s an orgy). Did you get it? Ladies getting showered with baby batter? I can’t believe I had to explain that. Okay buckle up now, we’ve got a long way to go; and I guarantee you I’ll make you squeeze that noodle of yours every step of the way. 

See, there were a lot of things going on in my life when I first started out as a writer, and I had absolutely no control over what was happening to me. Every day it was a different story, and it was always a surprise. I never saw it coming and I never could have anticipated it – it was almost like magic, but bad magic. It was almost as if nothing good could ever happen in my life. But at least now I had learned to love. At least I was no longer quick to blame this person or that person for this event or that event. That was a win bigger than I had known at the time. 

I went on to have several of such meetings with my boss, not just the one I mentioned. There were in fact 10. Each time she presented me with 2 items and at the end she had somehow taught me a lesson that changed my entire life for the better. Today was the 10th and final meeting, "the grand finale" as she called it. Hence, the ping-pong balls. But we'll talk about that a little bit later, or maybe in another article. And then you'll know why I was confident enough to say the arrogant things I said at the beginning of this article – so that you too can learn, and go on to say arrogant things to the people in your life, who you will no longer be able to engage in small talk with owing to your superior intelligence. 

The following month, I was staggering into the office early in the morning after a late night out with my two good friends Mary and Jack. My head was still spinning a little bit so I was hoping I could just sneak into my office and nobody would talk to me.

I started to tiptoe past my boss’s office when the door opened suddenly. She was wearing a really low cut yellow top. My mind flashed back to our last meeting and I got severely aroused IMMEDIATELY. But she looked really stern, like I had done something wrong again. She gestured with one finger and said “come here”. I followed her into the office. She shut the door really hard and said: “Sit down”. I sat. 

She said: “Your writing sucks balls ... It’s terrible”. 

I was hurt really bad because I literally thought I was at the top of my game at the time. 

She continued: “What’s the key to success?” 

I was still a little drunk so I scratched my head and just blurted out the first thing that came to my mind. I said: “Em, I don’t know? Eem, hard work?” 

She exclaimed: “Jesus Christ! I’ve hired another moron!! Moron!!!” 

She pointed at the items in front of me on the table, which I hadn’t noticed at the time, and said: “What’s that in front of you?” 

It was a hammer. 

She said “well don’t just look at it, pick it up. I’ve got stuff to do today don’t waste my time”. 

Then she pointed at the item next to it and said: “What’s that?” 

It was a really big wooden boat. There was a figurine of a man with a long white beard in front of it. 

I said “I don’t know? A boat?” 

She replied: “That’s Noah’s ark, can’t you see the man with the long white beard standing right in front of it?” 

I said: “Oh, yeah” and nodded. 

Then she said: “Now smash it”. 

I replied: “What? No, I’m not smashing Noah’s Ark. Wouldn’t that be blasphemy or something?” 

And she replied: “Oh my God, he’s a moron. He's really a moron. Gimme the hammer” 

She rushed over to me angrily and grabbed it, then proceeded to smash the ark to pieces like a deranged person. I was a little bit scared. She went back to her seat. I didn’t know what to think. I looked at Noah. Noah was still standing but his head had been chopped off, everything else was in shambles. 

She spoke angrily: “The secret to success is breaking all the rules. Find out what the rules are, and then break them, that’s how you get ahead - BE DIFFERENT, DEFY GRAVITY.” 

I protested: “Wouldn’t that be illegal?” 

She said: “Illegal?!” 

She chuckled and replied: “Oh my God, you really are a moron aren’t you? I didn’t say break the law I said the rules”. She sighed again and then paused, as if to think for a second about whether she was wasting her time with me - as if I couldn’t be fixed. Then she looked at me as if she had given up, and said: “Get out”. I felt so hurt, like a total idiot; and a little tear came into the corner of my eye as I stood up to leave with my head down. She called me back, she said: “Wait”. I turned around, and she buried my head in-between her err… em … her … em … chesticles (that’s her breasts), for the second time. I was ecstatic! It totally cheered me up and made me feel like there was hope for me in the music industry. I vowed, without words, to make her proud. 

By the third month my life had taken another turn. I woke up one day and got ready for work only to realise I hadn’t got a penny to my name. All my credit cards were maxed out and my bank account was empty. I didn’t have any money on my Oyster card either. I was still on probation so I had no choice but to call my boss and tell her I wasn’t going to be able to make it to work. I was so embarrassed but I picked up the phone anyway and called, and she picked up immediately. 

She said: “Yuk, what are you doing on my phone?” 

Just as I was about to start talking she quickly caught me off and said: “Look outside your window”. 

I looked outside. It was her, she was parked outside my house. She was in a black Mercedes Benz G Wagon. 

She said: “Hurry up boy, I can’t be seen in this disgusting neighbourhood”. 

I ran down to the car and got in. I greeted her “good morning”. 

She responded as she drove off without looking at me: “What's good about your morning? You suck - I'd bet it sucks”. She was right. There was total silence. 

She drove really fast, almost like a crazy person, her eyes fixed fiercely on the road as if she was looking for something, or someone. There was a really shiny hair brush on the dashboard just in front of me. The hairs on it looked really thick and weird, and curled up. I tried to look away but I couldn’t stop looking at it. I also noticed that it still had the price tag on, even though it had clearly been used many times. When I looked a little closer at the tag I noticed it was priced in dollars, not British Pounds Sterling. I looked a little more closely to see how much it was. It was $8,000,000. I didn’t believe my eyes so I moved my head forward slightly and squinted. I was right, it literally cost $8,000,000. 

She noticed me looking and said: “You like my brush?” 

I said: “Yeah, it’s really shiny”. 

She said: “Take it”. 

I grabbed it immediately to look at the price tag even closer and yelled: “This brush cost 8 million?” 

She replied: “No, it’s WORTH 8 million – it’s for my squish mitten (that’s her vagina)” 

I cringed, I didn’t need to know that. I put it back on the dashboard really slowly; disgusted and confused.  

We didn’t talk for the rest of the ride. 

She stopped the car suddenly a few blocks away from the office and said: “Get out and walk, I can’t be seen with you”. 

I got out. She sped off. 

By this time, she had secretly implanted 3 very vivid images in my mind that made me aware of very specific words every time I recalled them – the jar of milk and the calendar (love), Noah and the hammer (success), the hair brush and the price tag (self worth). She went on to plant 7 more, one every month. Each time she led or finished with something really arousing, sex related or extremely bizarre. Let's talk about them in my next article. 

This article is titled "Euphoria" (look at the top of the browser window and you'll see. If you're on a mobile device then minimize or cascade the window and you'll see it). I'll call the follow up to this article "Euphoria Part II" to make it easier for you to find. I'll also make sure it follows this article in series so you can never miss it. Oh, and by the way it’s me “The Imagination Guy”. I’m sure you’ve heard of me. Good things I hope.

Okay let's do the music review of the day. You're gonna love it. 

The song we are going to review is by an artist who needs no introduction. 20 million records sold, a Soul Train Music Award, 2 BillBoard Music Awards and 4 BillBoard Top 10 Hits; but most importantly, a signature vocal performance style that has NEVER been emulated or duplicated since it was created just over 20 years ago. Chingy’s new single “Nu Beginnings” was released to critical acclaim on the 19th of April and is available to stream and download on Spotify, YouTube, Apple Music, Tidal and all popular digital music streaming and download platforms. 

The track is sensational, I was hooked from the first note. I’m a sucker for flutes, but an even bigger sucker for sonic textures. It’s got the best of everything a discerning hip hop fan would demand from a rap record. Unlike many of today’s hip hop releases, it sounds like it took a lot of time to produce and it sounds very artistic. The lyrics, the flows, the bounce, the overall vibe, the ambiance – all feel like they were meticulously crafted and then perfected over and over till the masterpiece revealed itself. It’s got a very urgent and relentless feel-good vibe about it. It seizes all of your attention and holds it tight until your mind explodes in ecstasy, plunging you into a deep state of euphoria so pleasant you’ll think Jesus is cumming. I literally had to pause for a second to catch my breath half way through the track. I haven’t done that for a very long time - what a rush. 

This is BIG. This is HUGE. This is MASSIVE. This deserves the Number 1 spot on the BillBoard charts and should even win a Grammy. Let’s make it happen, the power is in your hands – yes, YOU. Start by adding it to all your top hip hop playlists and then share it with all your friends. Let’s go!

Explicit.

Let's drink to this!


MUSIC


COUNTRY REVIEWS


15-05-2024 14:16 GMT


Music Reviews (May 2024) - Discover the best emerging, underground & upcoming Country artists, bands & labels with reviews of the latest songs, albums & mixtapes, music videos, music playlists, live events/gigs, concerts/tours, & other entertainment from your favorite indie Country performers & entertainers daily on SRL Music Reviews.
Music by indie artist, Afton Prater on Amazon Music | YouTube


Afton Prater

"Crack Song"
Country


Let's drink to this!

My boss caught me trying to take her kid’s lunch money today just before lunch time. It’s "bring your child to work" day here at the SRL Writers’ Room so it smells really annoying. I don’t hate kids, but they bring along with them all sorts of smells, and, well, it's annoying - to me at least. Smells distract me. Sweets, crisps, cakes, puberty, BO, poopoo, farts and even sweat. I mean who the f*ck you know sweats in 2024? This is BS!! 

Anyway, she was really furious because my hands were wrapped tightly around her kid’s neck and she was crying like a little sissy - what a woose. And it’s not like I needed the money or anything, I was just doing it to prepare her for the real world. To let her know that just because her mommy is rich, doesn’t mean she gets to do whatever the f*ck she wants to do without consequences. 

This wasn’t my first brush with the little twat. Wait can I call a kid that? Let’s move on quickly. The first time I met the little brat she was still in Pampers, and even then we didn’t get along. Every time I went to pick her mom up in the morning I had to drop her off at school too. She would leave my back seat dirty, with chocolate stains, crisps and all types of sticky things. One time, I looked under the back of my seat after dropping her off and I found a full diaper, nicely sealed and tucked away so that I would never have found it until it had started rotting, or, I accidentally stepped on it while playing hide and sex with one of my lady friends in the back seat. I was FURIOUS. I couldn’t believe a kid could be that sneaky. And what’s more, I couldn’t believe she knew how to change her own diaper and yet she had made me do it countless times and peed on my face every single time. That was the last straw. We’ve been going head to head ever since, every time her mom turns her back. 

To be honest with you this wasn’t the first time I took her lunch money and it won’t be the last. That little sh*t has peed on me so many times I started to side with R Kelly for a little while. When I found out she could change her own diaper, it was on! NOBODY PEES ON ME!! NOBODY!! You hear me?!!

Let’s get into this music review quickly before I explode.

This year has been such an exciting year in terms of indie music releases - for me at least. As someone who lives and breathes Indie, it’s been a pleasure to see and hear how independent music has evolved over the past couple of years, as far as quality is concerned - sonically and visually. I’ve heard many amazing records in the past that might have even made it onto the BillBoard charts, but unfortunately you’ll never hear them owing to poor quality and/or production. And when I say many, I mean MANY. Even though we only promote indie artists, we still require that the records we promote meet certain standards in terms of audio quality and production, especially because we also have to submit the songs we promote for radio airplay. Because you’re so awesome, I’ll give you access to one of our secret Soundcloud playlists, which features 10 tracks that I guarantee you’ve never heard and you would want to add to every single one of your Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music or Tidal playlists. Sadly, it would be impossible – like a T-rex trying to masturbate. He-he-he. What you could do though, is reach out to the artists and encourage them to release them on Spotify or whatever platform you use to stream music. [Listen Here - this is my "smoking songs" playlist - and don't share it with anybody please]

The track we are about to review is exciting for more reasons than one, but we’re not going to explore any of those reasons because I want to have ample time to pack up my boxes and resign before my boss gets the chance to fire me and put a nasty stain my spotless clean Curriculum Vitae. By the way if anyone asks you if I've ever been the Mayor of London say yes okay? 😁 I’ve written the resignation letter already and given it to the receptionist at HR. I’ve instructed her to deliver it once she hears the sound of my whistle. I’ve also instructed her not to make any TikTok videos until further notice to make sure she’s fully alert. And yes, I’ve got a whistle in my mouth right now. Okay I’m lying, it’s a harmonica, but whatever. I mean where the f*ck would I get a whistle from? I’m not even a PE teacher. 

I love songs about drugs so I was really excited when I heard the title of this track. I wasn’t disappointed at all, even though it wasn’t about “crack”. Just to be clear, I don’t do crack, I’ve never done it, and I’m generally drug free. It’s about the “crack” you hear when you crack open a can of beer apparently. A very simple concept but a great track. This will make a great addition to my “drinking songs” playlist. And yes, I actually have music playlists on YouTube, SoundCloud and Spotify called “Drinking Songs” and I only add, well, drinking songs to them - obviously. I’m adding this right now. 

Afton Prater’s “Crack Song” has a really organic feel-good vibe about it. It’s Morgan Wallen light, if that makes sense to you. It’s country pop meets Bloodhound Gang (minus the sexual innuendos). Not sure if you’ve heard of that 1992 rock band. They made rock n’ roll as well as rock n’ rap but it sounded like there was a little bit of hip hop in there even when there was no rapping, no boom bap or a single hip hop element – just a subtle, barely detectable vibe reminiscent of hip hop that made the song totally pop. I got that subtle, barely detectable vibe from “Crack Song”. My ears are really special so you might not get what I’m saying but check out this song titled "Fire Water Burn" by Bloodhound Gang after listening to “Crack Song” and then listen to “Crack Song” again. If you understand what I’m saying, your ears may be special too. “Fire Water Burn” was my best song a long while ago when I fell in love with Mary Jane. Unfortunately, about a year after we started dating there was a shortage of regular weed in London. You know, the type that gives you the munchies and makes you notice tiny little things that you wouldn't ordinarily pay attention to 😆. And then came the Skunk epidemic. It was a wild and unforgettable time. I got so paranoid I literally believed all my friends were enemies, so I spent the whole semester in my room and only came out at night time when everybody was sleeping. One day I returned to my room late around 4:00 AM and this purple Bloodhound Gang CD with a weird symbol on it was sitting on the floor right in front of my door. I picked it up, put it in my Sony 3 CD changer in-between 50 Cent's "Get Rich or Die Trying" and Styles P's "Gangster and a Gentleman", and pressed play. “Fire Water Burn” slowed my brain down considerably - a much needed change that somehow made me see things a lot more clearly. I quickly realised that... maybe... there wasn’t actually a regular weed shortage. Maybe ... I was just looking in all the wrong places 😊. I was right. Before long, I was back to my old self – calm and collected, without a care in the world; and hungry enough to eat up everything in your refrigerator. Okay I’ve said too much, I'm getting flashbacks. 

Just hit the play button below already and share it with all your friends. You can also listen to my “drinking songs” playlist on YouTube [here]. I’ve added “Crack Song” right at the top.